Download Print-Friendly Version

Though body dissatisfaction can often seem like an isolated and unique experience, countless individuals struggle to love their bodies. As a gift from God and a vital part of His plan, the body is one of Satan’s most prominent targets. He may make individuals feel alone in their trials, but body image issues are widespread. 

Approximately 0.28% to 2.8% of the U.S. population will experience an eating disorder at some point in their lives, and numerous others may resort to disordered eating (e.g. diets or unhealthy eating behaviors that don’t fully qualify as an eating disorder). Additionally, about 75% of people are dissatisfied with their body size. Often in religious settings, the faithful are taught from a young age that their bodies are temples and are gifts from God, but still some struggle to love their bodies and wish to change them. 

Love 

President Jeffrey R. Holland taught “The first great commandment of all eternity is to love God with all of our heart, might, mind, and strength—that’s the first great commandment. But the first great truth of all eternity is that God loves us with all of His heart, might, mind, and strength.”

Many of these research participants expressed sentiments of being able to love their bodies because they knew that God loved them. As Ashley, a young female participant from Utah, said, “Heavenly Father loves me because I’m myself and not some image in a picture.” Likewise, Olivia, a young adult who grew up outside of Utah, shared, “Just because someone else is skinny, it doesn’t mean God doesn’t value me or love me or care about me. The doctrine has played a major part in my healing process or processes.” 

In addition to feeling loved by our Heavenly Parents, several of the members brought up their relationship with Jesus Christ, and knowing that He died for their sins also helped them to love their bodies more. Olivia expressed, “The Atonement of Jesus Christ, that is something that has always helped, especially when I’m feeling my lowest.” Whitney, a young participant who grew up outside the United States, also shared:  

It’s hard for me. There are people [who] would be like, ‘Oh yeah, …Christ knows how you’re feeling.’ I’m like, ‘But how could he know what …a 19-year-old girl is feeling when she hates her body?’ [Because] I just feel like it’s such a different experience for everybody. But also, it just felt like there’s no way anybody else could know what this is like. And I think of just coming to like, develop that relationship. Like He understood…where I was mentally. Maybe he never hated His body … But He cared about my struggles and He understood my mental difficulties that I was having in every aspect. Not just about my body.   

Knowing that their Heavenly Parents loved them and Christ had atoned for them helped these members to find peace and work on accepting their bodies. 

Purpose 

In addition to knowing they were loved, many brought up the idea that knowing that God had given them their bodies and had a plan for them gave them purpose and helped them in their relationship with their body. Sophie, a middle-aged female participant who grew up internationally, observed:  

It gives me perspective in the sense that my body was an essential part of the plan of happiness, like I completely understand this and that always brings me appreciation that I know that I chose to come here to receive a body and that was my choice.  

For several participants, God’s plan helped them have a long-term or eternal perspective on life, their bodies, and what was most important. Sophie continued:  

I’m still far from where I would like to be in terms of being completely happy with my body. But typically, when I can envision this kind of truth, it gives me a perspective that my bra size really does not matter in the grand scheme of things. 

Lastly, Cristin, a middle-aged participant from Utah, described how she was able to find deeper meaning and purpose during a low point in her eating disorder:  

There’s something deeper … that I’m not put on this Earth just to be this physical being. Because I felt so low, that you get to that point where you like it’s not worth it anymore, if this is all that it is. That I don’t want to have to go through this all the time. It’s exhausting. So if it’s just restriction and isolation and avoiding food and avoiding people, so I don’t have to deal with that, there’s gotta be more to life than that. And that’s really helped me in a way, see that there was more to life than the physical and that deepened my faith.  

Because these participants knew that God loved them and had a plan for them, this helped them as they healed from their eating disorder and learned to love their bodies. 

Perfection

Though many were able to cling to knowing that God loved them and had a plan for them during their recovery, others also brought up a sometimes unspoken pressure to look and be perfect. Various women shared how they had to gain a better understanding of what it meant to become perfect as they recovered. Naomi, a younger participant who grew up outside of Utah, shared: 

I think we have a culture of comparison, and I don’t think that has anything to do with doctrine. … I know that’s not what God wants us to be doing. But because we’re all striving to live better lives and just to improve ourselves spiritually, I think that can just kind of bleed into other areas … I think it’s because we are taught to improve ourselves and to repent and to be the best that we can, to be closer to God. And I think maybe people interpret that as like, how am I appearing to other people? And maybe misinterpreting it a little bit.

Similarly, Ellie, a middle-aged participant who grew up outside of Utah, explained, “Obviously, we have doctrine on becoming perfect, but it’s the act of making improvements, right? Rather than, I think what a lot of people see as the definition of being perfect without flaw.” 

Though these participants had started their journey of recovery, many have not. Just as these participants did, members of The Church of Jesus Christ struggling with body image should focus on beliefs such as that Heavenly Father created our bodies and loves each individual as they are, our bodies are an essential part of the Plan of Salvation, and we are working on progression, not perfection. All of these teachings can be vital in supporting individuals in forming a healthy body image. 

Additionally, acceptance could be fostered through artwork that represents a variety of body types, skin colors, and abilities. Lastly, this could entail creating a nonjudgmental environment and opportunities within one’s congregations, quorums, classes, or families to openly discuss body image, media pressures, health, appearances, ability, why God made each of us uniquely, and how that knowledge may influence the way we see those around us and our own body. This is important for both men and women to discuss. For as President Holland has noted,

There is no universal optimum size … I plead with you young women [and all] to please be more accepting of yourselves, including your body shape and style, with a little less longing to look like someone else. We are all different. Some are tall, and some are short. Some are round, and some are thin. And almost everyone at some time or other wants to be something they are not!

Ultimately, God made every individual unique and wants all to be invited to come, join, and be loved. We are all created in His image. And in that shared truth lies the beginning of healing—knowing that, as unique children of loving heavenly parents, through Christ we are enough, and we can be made whole.

The post In His Image: How Faith Can Heal Our Relationship with Our Bodies appeared first on Public Square Magazine.

Download Print-Friendly Version

I glanced at my son and saw the tension in his face. Sunlight flowed through one of the museum’s large windows, catching the tears running down his cheeks. His eyes were red. We had held them back for the first three chapters of the exhibit. Now, in front of him, was a panel showing the last known photograph of a group of Latvian women and children, moments before their execution by the Nazis. Inside, the mood was grave, the air heavy, and the silence tactile.

On the last day of our vacation, my family and I visited the Topography of Terror in Berlin. The museum documents the rise and fall of the Nazi regime and is located on the grounds where, from 1933 to 1945, the headquarters of the SS, the Gestapo, the Nazi intelligence, and—during World War II—the Reich Security Main Office were located. Its main exhibit is divided into five chapters of Nazi history and consists of multiple large panels that hang from the ceiling. Each panel includes unsettling photographs and documents. 

In an interview with B.Z. Die Stimme Berlins, Dr. Andrea Riedle, director of the Topography of Terror Foundation, explained: “It is a perpetrators’ site, not a memorial. We also want to reach people intellectually so that they reflect on the larger context.” When I recently contacted her, she added: “The purpose of the Foundation is to share the history of, and life under, National Socialism through our documentation center and to promote dialogue about the injustices of the Nazi dictatorship and its lasting impact beyond 1945.” 

It is shocking to see how systematically everything unfolded. The regime’s atrocities, the dismantling of democratic institutions, and the establishment of a tyrannical legal order are well-known. Many are familiar with the once-fringe ideas that became central to the regime, e.g., eugenics, the myth of the Aryan race, and the völkisch movement. But another disturbing and less discussed aspect of the rise of the Nazi regime was the extent of its acceptance by the German population. Hitler came to power in 1933, after being appointed chancellor of Germany by President Paul von Hindenburg. By 1934, many Germans—moved by nationalist pride, promises of prosperity and order, propaganda, intimidation, and social pressures—either supported the regime or accepted it. 

Examining this dark chapter of history is crucial, not only to honor the victims but also to recognize how easily democratic institutions can be subverted and how quickly professional ethics can erode under pressure.

While there are no moral equivalencies, this history serves as an effective example of the mechanisms that can lead to ethical erosion, allowing us to avoid similar mistakes today.

Today, we are witnessing pressures and incentives to discredit science, dismantle public health safeguards, and erode trust in medical expertise.

Science is being discredited through the amplification of the anti-vaccine movement, the weaponization of social media, the unchecked spread of pseudoscience, and the viral promotion of so-called miracle cures on digital platforms. Actively harmful proposals, such as the injection of disinfectants to treat COVID-19, have entered public discourse. Leading academic and evidence-based institutions, including journals and universities, have been accused of bias for publishing research or guidance that contradicts political narratives.

Public health safeguards are being dismantled. Institutions such as the CDC, FDA, NIH, and the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force, once internationally respected for their scientific integrity, have faced political interference, funding cuts, and deliberate campaigns of misinformation. These efforts weaken their ability to respond to public health issues and undermine their authority in the eyes of the public.

We should invite good-faith methodological critique, which improves safety. Institutional humility serves us well, and it must be paired with our own personal responsibility. Ultimately, we do not need to believe that these organizations are faultless or above correction to recognize that the rapid erosion of trust we’ve witnessed—often unearned—causes more harm than good. 

And this is where our responsibility begins. Moral agency and care for the vulnerable transcend any single tradition and are foundational to the practice of medicine itself. Truth-seeking, both scientific and ethical, honors these commitments. That is why defending evidence-based medicine, while insisting on transparency and accountability, is not merely a professional obligation; it is a moral imperative shared across diverse communities of conscience. History teaches us that silence enables erosion. A single physician may hesitate to speak out—out of fear, uncertainty, or futility. But when we raise our voices together, we can become a civic force. If we don’t defend the principles that define our profession—evidence, ethics, and advocacy—who will? The consequences aren’t theoretical. When we allow misinformation and ideology to guide health policy, it is patients, especially the most vulnerable, who suffer first.

Note: The views expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the University of Washington or any other professional institution.

The post Primum Non Nocere: A Berlin Museum’s Warning Against Silence appeared first on Public Square Magazine.

Download Print-Friendly Version

This thing all things devours:
Birds, beasts, trees, flowers;
Gnaws iron, bites steel;
Grinds hard stones to meal;
Slays king, ruins town,
And beats high mountains down.

Bryan Johnson wants to live forever. He’s not alone. From Silicon Valley biohackers to Saudi-funded biotech firms, the world’s wealthiest men are trying to outrun the grave. Their weapons are cold plunges, gene edits, transfusions, calorie counting, and near-religious adherence to lab results. Longevity clinics have sprung up from L.A. to Dubai. The language has shifted. People now talk about “biological age,” “epigenetic clocks,” and “lifespan escape velocity.” Death, once a certainty, is being rebranded as a failure of maintenance. They dream of endless decades. Of forever.

But forever is not a blank slate. It has a shape. And that shape is not beautiful.

J.R.R. Tolkien understood this long before the blood boys and cold plunges. He gave us characters who lived too long, not as an ideal, but as a warning. His most haunting case wasn’t an emperor or a god. Small, shriveled, and half-mad, this creature endured far beyond his natural years. Not because he deserved to, but because he was chained to something unnatural. The result wasn’t wisdom. It was ruin.

This is the unspoken danger of the longevity movement. When we talk about reversing age, we rarely ask what we’re becoming in the process. We treat time as neutral, as if more of it must be good. But there is a kind of life that corrodes as it stretches. And there is a kind of man who stops living long before he stops breathing.

We’ve met him before. His name was Gollum.

Gollum the Preserved

He hated it and loved it, as he hated and loved himself.

~Gandalf, about Gollum and the Ring

Gollum didn’t thrive. He lingered. That’s all.

He had no greatness in him. No ambition. No strength. He was a frightened, petty creature who stumbled onto something too powerful, and it refused to let him go. The Ring extended his life, but not to elevate it. Only to use it. And so he remained, not as a man, but as a husk. Not aging, not dying, not changing. Preserved.

Preservation is not life, it’s suspension. Gollum wasn’t alive in any meaningful sense. His body withered. His voice broke into fragments. His mind splintered into quarrels. He was meat kept too long, sealed off from time, no longer rotting, but no longer whole. In the darkness, he stopped becoming. He just … persisted.

Gollum’s tragedy wasn’t that he died. It’s that he didn’t. He became smaller with every passing year, not because he was weak, but because he was no longer allowed to break. Yet mortality is not the end of the story. It’s the form that gives the story meaning.

He should have died. Instead, he lingered. And that was his curse.

The Object Becomes the Soul

We swears to serve the master of the Precious. We swears … on the Precious!

~Gollum, to Frodo and Sam

Gollum didn’t hold the Ring; the Ring held him. Over time, it stopped being a tool and became the axis of his identity. He no longer had desires of his own—he bent around the thing that sustained him until he was indistinguishable from it.

This is not an ancient problem but a modern one. Men who build their lives around supplements, routines, and trackers are no longer pursuing health. They’re outsourcing the self. The aura ring becomes a confession booth. The lab report becomes scripture. Their souls are managed through metrics until nothing left inside isn’t optimized.

Gollum once had a name: Sméagol—a person with history, guilt, and possibility. But the Ring erased all that and replaced relationships with fixation. He no longer lived to build, to love, to know. He lived to possess, and all possession inverts.

We see the same pattern in addiction. In obsession. In the man who lives for his fortune but no longer knows what to do with it. In the influencer who curates every image but can’t form a thought without applause. In the striver whose health is perfect but whose life is barren.

When life depends on an object, the soul eventually conforms to it. Gollum’s will, language, posture, and even his voice all twisted around the Ring. His desires didn’t serve his identity. They replaced it.

This is the true cost of dependency-based immortality. The longer you survive through something external, the less you exist apart from it.

The Mad Math of Eternal Time

Deep down here by the dark water lived old Gollum, a small, slimy creature. I don’t know where he came from, nor who or what he was. He was Gollum.

Time without end doesn’t liberate. It erodes.

Gollum didn’t live in time; he sank in it. Years passed without structure, without company, without change. His mind folded in on itself, repeating old phrases, replaying old injuries, splitting into fragments that argued in circles. His long life didn’t bring wisdom. It brought decay without death.

We assume more time means more clarity. But time, without limits, becomes background noise. Without endings, we lose urgency. Without death, there is no reason to forgive or to act. There is only delay. Gollum didn’t plan or aspire. He reacted. He returned, always, to the moment he lost the Ring. That moment swallowed the future. All meaning collapsed into retrieval.

Tolkien gave Gollum a long life not to glorify him but to show what happens when time is unmoored from mortality. There is no arc, only repetition. No growth, only fixation. He was frozen in compulsion because there was no reason not to be.

The problem wasn’t that Gollum lived too long. The problem was that nothing meaningful could occur. His wound never healed because it was never allowed to close. And when the music of life has no final note, even the most beautiful themes lose their shape. Time, unchecked, becomes noise. And the soul, unstretched by struggle, folds in on itself.

The Death of Desire

We soon forgot the taste of bread, the sound of wind in the trees … We even forgot our name.

Gollum didn’t want the good, the true, or the beautiful. He wanted the Ring. And once that want took root, all other desires withered. Food meant nothing. Light hurt. Friendship confused him. He was not tempted by joy. He was terrified of anything that might threaten his obsession. The Ring promised life. In return, it consumed every other reason to live.

This is the cost of unnatural immortality. It doesn’t simply extend the body. It distorts the soul. When your life depends on a single object, everything else becomes noise. Desire shrinks to fit the terms of survival. Pleasure becomes a threat. Love becomes a risk. Even mercy feels like a trick.

You can already see the pattern emerging. Men who track every biomarker but feel nothing. Men who sacrifice relationships for regimes of control. Men who fear aging more than they fear irrelevance. They live to preserve their bodies. Yet their souls lose their salt. Passion is replaced with protocol. Risk is replaced with ritual. And desire is strangled by its own guardrails.

Gollum didn’t protect the Ring. The Ring consumed his capacity to want anything else. He wasn’t loyal. He was trapped. He wasn’t focused. He was hollow.

To be human is to dream and to desire beyond your means. To risk heartbreak. To hunger for something greater than safety. Immortality doesn’t allow for that. It demands narrowing, shielding, hoarding. But a life spent hoarding cannot hope. And without hope, desire dies.

That is the final degradation. And it wears Gollum’s face.

Mercy Is Better Than Immortality

Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. For even the very wise cannot see all ends.

~Gandalf, to Frodo about Gollum

In the end, Gollum didn’t find peace. He fell into fire, clutching the very thing that ruined him. But his death mattered. It closed a chapter. It made the story whole. And it only happened because someone showed him mercy.

Frodo spared him. Again and again. Not because Gollum deserved it, but because Gandalf had said something true: even the wise cannot see all ends. Mercy creates space for grace to act. It opens a future you can’t predict or control. And that virtue, in the end, is what destroyed the Ring. Not power. Not cunning. Mercy.

Immortality has no place for this. It sees no virtue in endings. It sees no glory in surrender. It replaces love with calculation and hope with protocol. But the soul is not a system. It needs more than time. It needs transcendence. That comes not from extending life, but from offering it to something higher.

Gollum’s final act was not heroic. It was selfish, compulsive, pathetic. But it mattered because someone else had chosen love over fear. That choice gave the story meaning. Immortality cannot offer that. It does not bend. It does not resolve. It only continues.

The moguls of Silicon Valley would do well to understand this: Life cannot be engineered. It must be lived, and to be lived, it must be allowed to end.

The post The Fantasy of Forever: The Danger Behind Biological Immortality appeared first on Public Square Magazine.

In not bringing these aspects of their experience into session, it is thought that the individual is only conveying ‘parts’ to the counselor instead of the ‘whole,’ which, in turn, can negatively affect the therapeutic process. Often when the therapist brings attention to a certain cultural aspect, the individual can open up and can feel “this is okay to talk about.” That is why a counselor is encouraged to broach. It is said that: 

A therapist who is broaching is aware of cross-cultural similarities and differences and the workings of power in the therapy dyad and makes deliberate efforts to demonstrate this understanding to the client, which includes explicit discussion in sessions [emphasis added].

My particular university was very focused on developing culturally competent counselors. Most of my classes emphasized the importance of incorporating the client’s experience in developing positive rapport and facilitating good therapeutic treatment. The mantra I heard throughout my counseling education is, “If you are not culturally competent, you should not be a counselor.” 

However, mainstream therapeutic practice has often come up short when it comes to broaching one particular part of culture and identity: religion. Religion is a huge part of many people’s lives, and many clients want their beliefs to be understood and respected within a therapeutic space. This is actually a reasonable expectation.

1. Understanding basic belief systems, major world religions, agnosticism, and atheism.

2. Recognizing that the client’s beliefs (or absence of beliefs) are central to their worldview and have influence over their psychological well-being. 

3. Knowing your own limitations as a clinician in understanding a client’s religion and spiritual experience. 

4. Recognizing and using spiritual or religious concepts consistent with the client’s worldview or perspective. 

5. Understanding religious themes and contexts and addressing these when therapeutically relevant and counseling with reliable religious resources when necessary. 

Living and working as a therapist in Utah, I can say that these spiritual and religious competencies matter, even beyond the Latter-day Saint population. 

Why Broaching Matters For You

Now you may be wondering why I feel the need to educate you on broaching. Fair question. 

It is because these competencies are important to you as a religious individual who may potentially engage in therapy. Therapists should be competent in exploring religion within therapeutic settings. In fact, it is an expectation. And you should feel like you can bring Jesus into therapy with you in a meaningful way. In fact, as members of the Church of Jesus Christ, we are encouraged to do so. 

I can pinpoint the moment the attitudes around mental health began to shift more within the Latter-day Saint community. In 2013, Elder Holland gave his conference talk, Like a Broken Vessel, and it had a rippling effect on how we saw and continue to see mental health experiences. In this impactful talk, he stated: 

… these afflictions are some of the realities of mortal life, and there should be no more shame in acknowledging them than in acknowledging a battle with high blood pressure or the sudden appearance of a malignant tumor. 

In contrast to much of the casual, misinformed dialogue around mental health experiences back in 2013, Elder Holland even encouraged us to seek out professional help for these types of struggles and difficulties. He refuted the ideas from previous years and decades, which painted struggling individuals as lazy, broken, or entitled. Elder Holland expressed hope and advice later in his talk: 

If things continue to be debilitating, seek the advice of reputable people with certified training, professional skills, and good values. Be honest with them about your history and your struggles.

As a therapist and as someone who has engaged in their own therapy, I can attest to the positive benefits that can come from seeking that kind of help. Certainly, we can recognize the divine inspiration that Elder Holland received, which led many people to get the help they needed when they might have otherwise hesitated.

However, psychology and therapy are generally secular disciplines, and sometimes professionals do not always understand or appreciate different values in their clients, even if they may think they do. In the ASERVIC guidelines addressed earlier in this article, professionals are encouraged to know their limitations and to be aware of their own biases. Indeed, if professionals and individuals seeking services are not cognizant of the reality of bias in therapy, it can lead to recommendations that are not aligned with clients’ values. Sometimes, individuals may feel that they need to do what their therapist recommends, even if it is against their values, in order to get better.

Indeed, among many examples, I once heard an account of a client who was encouraged to have a trial “open relationship” to help their monogamous relationship. Additionally, someone else I knew was encouraged to view their pornography use as a productive coping skill even when they personally wanted to stop watching it due to their religious values. These are certainly not the only ways in which values can be disregarded or misunderstood.

In this spirit we can look at the next line in Elder Holland’s talk that may be easy to overlook. He said: 

Prayerfully and responsibly consider the counsel they give and the solutions they prescribe [emphasis added].

We have not been encouraged to listen to counselors, therapists, psychiatrists, or psychologists without critically thinking about the treatments and skills they prescribe. Indeed, we have been encouraged to bring God into the process and study it out in our own minds. To do that, it may be beneficial to find a therapist who is willing and capable of talking about God and who will allow you to bring Jesus to therapy. It can feel like two separate experiences, but it does not have to be. 

If you find a good therapist, though, this does not always mean that you will be on the same page or that you will not need to talk about differences in perspectives. There were several times in my own therapeutic experience when my therapist and I talked about how my beliefs were misunderstood and misinterpreted, but they were willing and able to meet me there. That is the important thing.

Ultimately, though, I want to empower individuals to bring their values, their religion, and their beliefs into therapy. As members of the Church of Jesus Christ, we fundamentally believe that all change is wrought through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. We are taught that “it is only in and through the Grace of God that ye are saved” and “without a Savior to redeem and reform us, there is little hope of lasting improvement in humanity.” He provides us with ways to help us heal and to bring us closer to Him. Therapy can be an avenue to do that if we find the right therapist and we approach it with the right intent. 

Healing with Jesus and healing in therapy do not have to be two separate entities. You do not need to keep your beliefs, your values, and your religions apart from your experience in therapy. You have the right to bring these values and find a professional who can navigate that terrain with you.

The post Can Therapy Be Faith-Friendly? Why Bringing Jesus into Counseling Might Not Meet Your Spiritual Needs appeared first on Public Square Magazine.

Feeling validated about one’s self or having one’s choices affirmed is not inherently a bad thing. Certainly, we can all resonate with wanting to have our feelings and points of view confirmed by others. For example, perhaps an extreme one, women who have experienced physical abuse often seek and need validation from others that what they are experiencing is actually abuse. I (Brianna) once had a client who came to a session after her husband had physically assaulted her, and she had called the police. She was worried that she had done the wrong thing, had maybe overreacted, or was actually the one at fault. In this case, however, it was important to validate that her physical safety was important and that she had done the right thing.

Existing in echo chambers can steadily move us away from reality and confine us in a space that is not actually healthy or helpful. We lose the ability to challenge our own beliefs and consider different points of view when we are unequivocally validated in the beliefs we hold. Particularly when our choices are destructive to others or ourselves, what we need may not be validation but rather challenge and correction. If we only ever hear our own thoughts and ideas repeated back to us in an affirming way, we can quickly lose touch with reality. An echo chamber allows us to inhabit a world entirely of our own making, a world created in our own image and reflecting back to us only ourselves. As such, the danger of an echo chamber lies in the way it encourages us to be like Narcissus, a figure of ancient Greek mythology who fell in love with his own reflection in a pool of water.   

To understand better how echo chamber therapy can impede our happiness and growth, we need to take a look at how modern therapeutic practice developed and how it fails to provide what we need to reach our highest potential. We will see that our Heavenly Father wants us to grow and develop and that, often, this growth requires us to change, repent, and improve. True love and concern for people do not affirm them in whatever they happen to be doing but instead challenge us to become who we truly can be—the sort of person our Heavenly Father intended us to become all along. 

Echo Chambers & Person-Centered Therapy

Carl Rogers is considered a “father” of modern psychotherapy with his theory of “person-centered therapy.” His ideas and therapeutic approach have played—and continue to play—a particularly influential role in how therapists are trained today. Indeed, he is one of the top 12 most cited psychologists of all time. Although you may never have read or heard about Carl Rogers specifically, there’s a very good chance that you have heard the phrase “unconditional positive regard” or “unconditional love” somewhere, perhaps in an introduction to psychology course or even in casual conversation with friends.

Carl Rogers […] argued that to facilitate genuine psychological and emotional healing therapists must establish a particular kind of empathic relationship with their clients, one based on the therapist’s unconditional acceptance of the client, regardless of what the client says or does or feels. 

Most American psychotherapy training programs tend to emphasize person-centered therapeutic modalities as a basic building block in counseling education. Everything beneficial in the therapeutic relationship, it is often said, is rooted in and built up from the therapist’s use of unconditional positive regard in approaching the client.

Rogers himself argued that in order for the individual to be fully free to be themselves in therapy, the therapist must create an environment of unconditional acceptance and radical tolerance or, to use a more recently popularized term, a safe space. 

On a surface level, the creation of safe spaces does not seem like a bad idea. And, as Gantt and Thayne also note: 

… helping an individual to feel safe in expressing his or her hidden thoughts and feelings is a valuable and important endeavor, especially in a therapeutic setting where genuine empathy and openness are vital. 

These professionals further articulate that to criticize Rogers is not to criticize empathy, understanding, and openness as a whole. While Rogers has been particularly influential in defining what empathy means for psychologists, his way of facilitating openness and authenticity is not the only one. Nor would we argue that it is the best way as a therapist. 

What Rogers misses (and what many of his followers miss) is the difference between the ability to exercise judgment or discernment about events or behaviors in a client’s life and judging a person’s value or intent. There is simply no avoiding this issue, though. Helpful interpersonal feedback requires judgment and discernment about whether the client is living a good, functional, or healthy life. 

Skeptical? Try this quick thought experiment: 

Imagine that the ‘worst’ person that you know is getting therapy. The therapist provides validation for every thought, feeling, and action that person has ever had or done—including those that have hurt you or other people. 

Certainly, this is not a very comfortable thought. Validating sins and misdeeds does not help the person in the wrong want to change, and it is cheapened when it is applied by default to everything another feels or does.

Rebukes, chastenings, reprimands, commandments, instructions, parental advice, attempts at persuasion are all fundamentally and inescapably at odds with the notion of a “safe space.” 

But “safe spaces” may not actually be what is best for us. In order to understand the truth about love, healing, and happiness, we should first look to those who do it perfectly—Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ—and understand the meaning and purpose of our lives. 

The Plan of Happiness & Our Divine Purpose

The Plan of Salvation is, indeed, a plan of happiness. But to understand what this really means, we must understand happiness. It is common in our modern, secular world to define happiness ecumenically as an agreeable psychological state. According to this understanding, people are happy as long as they enjoy what they are doing and are achieving what they desire. But this approach has obvious problems, ones that have been noted at least since the beginnings of the Western intellectual tradition—for example, by Plato, Aristotle, Aquinas, and many others. If we enjoy doing evil, does this make us happy or merely more miserable because we do not appreciate the significance of our actions? As the philosopher and psychologist William James observed: “If merely ‘feeling good’ could decide, drunkenness would be the supremely valid human experience.” People and society often flaunt the commandments of God and experience ‘happiness,’ but Alma is correct when he states, “wickedness never was happiness.”

If we leave the word “happiness” as the world would define it, then we may miss the purpose of our lives. Life is not about preventing the vindictive judgment of a vengeful God, rather, it is about who we become. As Elder Christofferson has said, “God’s purpose is that we, His children, may be able to experience ultimate joy, to be with Him eternally, and to become even as He is.”

However, if we ‘think celestial,’ as President Nelson has counseled us to do, we can see that we must follow the commandments of God, make covenants in the temple, and live our lives trying to be more like Christ if we want to become people who will want to stand in the presence of God. Through these commandments, covenants, and efforts, Heavenly Father shows us the manner of heaven through our experience by becoming as He is. This goes beyond “check-list” religious practices. The very act of becoming is the ultimate joy, happiness, and purpose of life. 

How Does God Love Us? 

So as we think about God, His plan, and how He loves us, let us consider a different thought experiment. In another article written here at Public Square Magazine, Kylie Burdge and I (Brianna) comment: 

Imagine a parent looking at their 8-year-old child saying, “I love you totally and completely, so please do not feel any need to grow and change.” While it is true that we love our children as they are, does that love for them mean that we never want them to change or grow or progress? From a Christian view, those desires would not really be loving because they inherently limit the experiences and ultimate happiness that we want for children […] Their perspective would be forever limited. In fact, there is an aspect in which we intuitively recognize that there is something wrong with a parent who wants their child to stay as they are forever. 

Good parents know that their children need to grow and change. Sometimes this tutelage includes reprimands, instructions, advice, and chastenings—though always motivated by and grounded in selfless love. After all, the scriptures say: “For whom the Lord loveth He chasteneth,” and “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten.” Lest we forget, these guidelines for love are almost the exact opposite of how we would define a contemporary “safe space.”

So how does the Lord provide chastisement? 

Doctrine and Covenants sheds some light on His purposes: “Whom I love I also chasten that their sins may be forgiven, for with the chastisement I prepare a way for their deliverance in all things out of temptation, and I have loved you” [emphasis added]. Elder Christofferson further adds, “The fruit of God’s chastisement is repentance leading to righteousness.” 

God’s intent with chastisement, or correction, is to help us become as He is. We agreed to His plan from the beginning and clearly had the desire to live as He does. Indeed, in this respect, He is a bit older and wiser in the ways of life and truth. Within this context, repentance is simply a reflection of how we change and how we grow into new people over time through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Chastisement and correction from a Godly perspective is loving because it helps us realize who we are and who we can become.

Love and Therapy

How does this apply to therapy and echo chambers? First, we should be clear that therapists are neither parents to their clients nor gods. They are just people. However, by exploring and embracing the love Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have for us, we can expand our vision of what healing and growth look like.

However, the reality is that therapists are imperfect, and they may not always make the best observations or challenges in the right way. You don’t have to take everything your therapist says at face value and apply it exactly in your life. Rather, a therapist can provide opportunities for growth by having productive dialogue around the context of your life and possible areas of improvement. You want to find the right therapist for you, not the perfect therapist. 

Ultimately, though, you have a better opportunity to grow and progress if you find an environment where you can feel lovingly and fairly challenged. In these constructive confrontations, you have an increased opportunity to learn the truth about your experiences and the people in your life. As Jesus taught, “the truth shall make you free” and you will never learn the truth in an echo chamber.

The post When Safe Spaces Aren’t Safe: How Unconditional Acceptance Can Stifle Growth appeared first on Public Square Magazine.

When you mention conversion therapy, most people think of antiquated, barbaric, and discredited therapeutic techniques like aversion (shock) therapy or the coercive, repressive, and shaming techniques that are still happening in some unlicensed “Christian” residential programs. If the law banned obviously harmful and dangerous practices like these, no one would object. Because today, as even proponents of conversion therapy bans admit, such practices either died out long ago or are not regulated by mental health licensing laws in the first place. Very few therapists, even Christian therapists, seek to change sexual orientation anymore. 

The problem is that the law is vague and overbroad, causing it to infringe not only on client self-determination but also on the Free Speech Clause of the First Amendment and America’s broad tradition of religious liberty. The next sentence in the Washington law is especially problematic, which states that the definition of ‘conversion therapy’ includes “efforts to change behaviors or gender expressions, or to eliminate or reduce sexual or romantic attractions or feelings toward individuals of the same sex” (emphasis added). The Washington law effectively states that therapists must affirm whatever behaviors or gender expressions the client currently engages in, even if the client themselves may want to stop. If the therapist helps the client stop a behavior or reduce the intensity of their conflicted feelings, they will face discipline. Twenty other states have enacted similar bans on “conversion therapy,” defined in an overbroad way.

The Bill of Rights states that “Congress shall make no law… abridging the freedom of speech.” Most bans on “conversion therapy” violate the freedom of speech by defining conversion therapy so broadly. In another Supreme Court case, 303 Creative LLC v. Elenis (2023), a website designer did not want to be forced to design websites for gay weddings. The Supreme Court ruled that the creation of websites is “pure speech” (communication through written or spoken words), and forcing her to say something she did not believe in violated the core of freedom of speech. Because almost all therapy is done through verbal dialogue, not allowing a therapist to speak with a client about homosexuality in a non-affirming way is also a direct violation of free speech.

The opposing argument was that the bans do not violate free speech because they prohibit “conduct,” and the kind of speech therapists engage in is a form of conduct that can be regulated by the state. However, in NIFLA v. Becerra, decided in 2018, the Supreme Court said that “this Court has not recognized ‘professional speech’ as a separate category of speech. Speech is not unprotected merely because it is uttered by ‘professionals.’” And as Justice Thomas stated, quoting a similar case out of Florida, “If speaking to clients is not speech, the world is truly upside down.”

The Tingley case also undermines our country’s history of protecting freedom of conscience and religious pluralism. Though America has often fallen short of our ideals, our history includes a robust tradition of accommodating religious differences. During the Revolutionary War, the Quakers, for religious reasons, did not want to fight, and they were granted religious exemptions in many colonies. This exception survives today under the rubric of “conscientious objectors.” Our tradition of allowing religious liberty for all permits a variety of beliefs to coexist without requiring conformity to any specific religious belief. Courts and legislators should protect religiously motivated counselors and their beliefs from being trampled under the excuse of ridding the country of homophobia.

Washington argued that the government has a compelling interest in protecting homosexual minors from harm by clearly dangerous practices. If this was their real motivation, they could easily have defined conversion therapy more narrowly and more specifically. By upholding such a broad definition, the Ninth Circuit and the Supreme Court are penalizing religious beliefs held by professional therapists who do not want to affirm homosexual behavior. This is the opposite of religious freedom in which such differences are allowed, and matters of belief and conscience may not be compelled.

The fundamental disagreement is over what constitutes “harm” in this context. It is argued that therapists occupy a position of power relative to their clients, many of whom are in an emotionally vulnerable state. Many therapists believe that anything less than full acceptance of LGBT+ identities and behaviors is harmful, even if the clients themselves do not want affirmation. Within this perspective, the person is defined (in significant part) by their experienced sexual desires and gender identity. Any accommodation of traditional views about sexuality or gender is harmful because it could prevent people from living authentically according to their “true selves.” 

But as Carl Trueman and others have shown, this understanding of the “true self” is a relatively recent invention. It is not obviously true, as many of its supporters suggest. Reasonable people of good will can disagree about the extent to which certain desires or experiences should inform our understanding of who we are and how we should live.

Even recent legislation and court decisions by Democrats and Democratic-appointed judges clearly show that traditional views about sexuality and marriage need not be based in ignorance or bigotry. In Obergefell v. Hodges (2015), the case that required all states to recognize same-sex marriages, the Court stated that “many who deem same-sex marriage to be wrong reach that conclusion based on decent and honorable religious or philosophical premises, and neither they nor their beliefs are disparaged here.” Further, Congress recently passed the Respect for Marriage Act. This law provided federal recognition of state-sanctioned same-sex marriage while also recognizing that “diverse beliefs about the role of gender in marriage are held by reasonable and sincere people based on decent and honorable religious or philosophical premises.” This clearly includes believers in traditional marriage. Professional counselors who do not abuse their clients physically or psychologically and instead help them reconcile their religious and moral values with their sexuality should be allowed to help such individuals, even if they are minors. It should not be criminal to disagree with LGBTQ-affirming beliefs or for clients to seek therapeutic support in reconciling their faith with their attractions. LGBTQ individuals who want therapy that affirms their identity and behavior should be able to find it. 

Too often, we make this more complicated than it needs to be. LGBT+ individuals who want therapy that affirms their identity and behavior should be able to find it. LGBT+ individuals who want therapy that affirms other aspects of their identity, such as their religious faith, should also be able to find it. Instead, the course chosen by the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals holds, in the words of Justice Thomas, that “expressing any other message [besides LGBT+ affirmation] is forbidden—even if the counselor’s clients ask for help to accept their biological sex.” Why should individuals not be able to access the therapy they actually want?

Though the Supreme Court declined to hear Tingley v. Ferguson, the Court should take the next available opportunity to rule on this important issue. Therapists and clients should be free to discuss issues related to gender identity and sexual orientation without fearing punishment from the state. Whereas it was once the case that homosexuals were treated as sick and subjected to dubious “treatments,” the pendulum has swung too far in the other direction. Those who wish to live a traditional moral code have largely been abandoned by therapists, legislatures, and now even the Supreme Court of the United States. Freedom to explore these issues should not mean the empty freedom to agree with the government. For years, gay activists demanded that the government “get out of our bedroom.” Government should also get out of the therapy room.

The post Disciplined For Disagreeing appeared first on Public Square Magazine.

The Four Elements that Build Our Mission

1. Mobile Medical Clinic

2. National Partner Program

3. Community Partners

4. Digital Platform

Mobile Medical Clinic

The Save the Storks Mobile Medical Clinic was our first innovative idea to break any barriers to women receiving the quality care they need.

Our Mobile Medical Clinics are capable of reaching even the most remote and unreached regions. These state-of-the-art mobile medical clinics ensure women receive top-notch care and compassionate help. Our clinics offer free pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, and STI testing. They serve as a vital link between pregnancy centers and women. Our clinics ensure access to high-quality healthcare no matter where they are.

Save the Storks started with our state-of-the-art mobile medical clinic. It was the first of its kind to offer free ultrasounds, pregnancy testing, STI testing, and counseling. It’s been 12 years now since the first unit was launched, and since then, we’ve seen 102 mobile medical clinics launched across 34 states. Our goal is to get them into every state and into every key city. We’ve served thousands of women and have seen 11,000 lives saved through these mobile clinics where women facing unplanned pregnancies can see their baby in the womb and learn about their options and all the resources available to them: continued care, parenting classes, financial aid, legal assistance, housing, education and career development, and more.

National Partner Program

What does our National Partner Program truly accomplish in terms of excellence and medical care?

When we partner with a women’s health clinic, we help to expand their offerings and build a platinum reputation as a women’s healthcare provider in their community.

It’s not just about guiding women’s health clinics toward a medical model; we’re aiming for a level of care that competes head-to-head with neighboring women’s health clinics. By partnering with these pregnancy health centers, we help them elevate their services by forming action plans to achieve a medical standard of excellence. We do this by ensuring they are accredited, have medical personnel on staff, and facilities are up to date with intentional branding and marketing.

Our ultimate objective is to reclaim reproductive rights as a life-affirming cause and ensure women receive the highest quality reproductive healthcare possible in their local communities.

Community Partners

They say it takes a village to raise a child, but in modern society, we’ve noticed a disconnect between the women facing an unplanned pregnancy and the ‘village’ they need. While communities may rally to rescue a puppy, they may not always extend the same support to women facing unplanned pregnancies.

Our goal is to empower churches to embody the compassionate spirit of Jesus, actively reaching out to support mothers in their communities as they strive to build thriving lives. This initiative provides an opportunity to demonstrate God’s love and uphold the dignity of every mother. Community and church partnerships help bridge the gap between women and their communities, fostering support and understanding.

Additionally, we are not limited to churches in terms of community partnerships or pregnancy health centers. We also partner with different organizations at the regional level, just recently, we launched a partnership with OCRM (Orange County Rescue Mission), but it doesn’t matter what your size is. Whether you’re a church, a small group, an organization, a center, or even just a family that wants to help, you can become a partner or help us raise money through friendraisers and even volunteer at your local Storks-affiliated pregnancy center. 

Digital Platform

We know that time is of the essence when it comes to a woman facing an unplanned pregnancy. Our aim is to bridge the time gap with 24-hour availability, ensuring women can access life-affirming support at any hour. We want the two in-the-morning moments met with life-affirming and hopeful resources rather than Planned Parenthood. Many pregnancy centers operate on limited schedules, often only open a few days a week with short hours. This stands in stark contrast to the accessibility of Planned Parenthood and services like ‘Ask Tia,’ which operate nearly every day of the week. By offering round-the-clock access, we can meet women in their moments of uncertainty with resources that promote life-affirming choices. Our platforms, For Every Woman and Infinite Worth 24/7, are designed to break down barriers and offer hopeful alternatives to abortion.

For Every Woman is a digital enterprise that helps connect women online with resources through our eight pillars of care area, such as physical and mental healthcare, housing, and adoption agencies, and provides educational pieces on the site about their sexual and reproductive health. We want to reach women even before they face an unintended pregnancy, and so far, we’ve seen over 3,000 women engage with us online through our chatbot. We have an extensive database of resources pulled from all across the country, which are meticulously vetted and approved. The best way for a person to volunteer here is if they have digital expertise, whether that’s with helping build and filter the database, copywriting, content creation, and becoming a spokesperson for the brand by sharing our content with others in their network/community. 

Creating Holistic Healthcare

Through our Mobile Medical Clinics, we break barriers to provide quality holistic healthcare to women in remote areas. Our National Partner Program elevates Pregnancy Resource Centers to compete with neighboring clinics, setting a platinum standard of care. Community Partnerships bridge the gap between women facing unplanned pregnancies and the support they need. Our Digital Platform offers round-the-clock access to life-affirming resources, ensuring women receive the support and alternatives they deserve. Together, these elements build a foundation of excellence and compassion, guiding women toward comprehensive care and life-affirming choices.

The post Revolutionizing Women’s Healthcare: The Life-Affirming Mission of Save the Storks appeared first on Public Square Magazine.

Yet months later, I realized the toll on my mental health—frequent panic attacks, avoidance of simple tasks, and a severely shrinking ability to navigate the world. My mind had taken a snapshot of the worst thing it had endured, and now anything remotely resembling that was labeled a potential threat to my life. I had no control over when it would flip the switch into debilitating fear and avoidance.

In accepting my PTSD, I made a melancholy list of things I could no longer do, like go to movie theaters, medical/ dental visits, drive in heavy traffic, travel to dream destinations, take plane rides or field trips, visit sacred spaces, and sleep away from home. The list of my hopeful “someday” dreams transformed into a soul-draining reminder of things I’d never be capable of achieving now.

 Seven years later, I was faced with another series of medical traumas as a massive aneurysm was discovered between my aorta and my spleen.

However, between these two major life events, a significant transformation gradually unfolded. I immersed myself in the literature on PTSD and TV shows involving real-life therapists utilizing exposure therapy for OCD. Determined to try this exposure idea, I scheduled a crucial dental appointment for a sore tooth, but it proved challenging. With the help of medication, I managed the procedure. Eventually, I opted for a different dentist, a friend, who unknowingly imparted a profound truth—sometimes, one positive experience can alter our perspective. His office, equipped with TVs during dental work, became a game-changer.

Despite setbacks, I slowly regained this one space of lost ground. Bit by bit, I began to employ more of these tactics. Venturing to board a plane for a short one-hour flight, a panic attack ensued, but employing grounding techniques and distractions, I made it through. Stepping off the plane at my destination was this joyful achievement—a gate in my mind that I felt was shut forever was unlocked and reopened. I even utilized some Buddhist ideas in accepting the panic and consoling myself with “it will pass,” which allowed me to persevere. I read about cognitive behavioral therapy techniques. Over seven years, I diligently adopted strategies, rebuilding hope that I could reclaim some small ability to engage in various tasks and activities. When some attempts initially failed, I kept on trying again.

Addressing my spiritual fears, I delved into theodicy, the exploration of how a benevolent God could create a world where evil and suffering exist. Over time, I came to perceive the world as a system intentionally designed with imperfections and woundedness as the means through which we can experience growth, similar to a vaccine introducing dangerous pathogens that are inactive. The peril must be confronted and managed, yet it remains inherently temporary, just as our physical suffering is not eternal. God waits for us to turn to Him in our suffering so He can uplift us through His many positive reassurances which equip us, strengthening our endurance.

Despite lingering PTSD symptoms, I now embrace an emerging concept known as PTG or Post Traumatic Growth. I do not believe it is in any way a cure for PTSD, but rather, it’s a transformational hope that your world doesn’t have to shrink forever—that you can find ways to accomplish tasks and goals even if they will never be exactly like they were before. 

In the New York Times Best Seller, The Coddling of The American Mind, authors Greg Lukianoff and Johnathan Haidt explain,

“Research on post-traumatic growth shows that most people report becoming stronger or better in some way after suffering through a traumatic experience. That doesn’t mean we should stop protecting young people from potential trauma, but it does mean that the culture of safetyism is based on a fundamental misunderstanding of human nature and of the dynamics of trauma and recovery. It is vital that people who have survived violence become habituated to ordinary cues and reminders woven into the fabric of daily life. Avoiding triggers is a symptom of PTSD, not a treatment for it. According to Richard McNally, the director of clinical training in Harvard’s Department of Psychology, Trigger warnings are counter-therapeutic because they encourage avoidance of reminders of trauma, and avoidance maintains PTSD.”

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy includes a step-by-step, systematic exposure to traumatic memories, with the aim of reducing their capacity to induce distress over time. Although I didn’t receive this treatment directly from a therapist’s guidance, I meticulously adhered to its principles by studying numerous articles and books on the subject and by having my sister, Bonnie, talk me through her own experiences. The result in my life has been incredibly life-changing.

Jennifer emphasized the importance of fostering a mindset that embraces recovery and growth. She believes that everyone deserves to hear that their journey toward well-being is not only valid but also achievable. While the journey toward healing and personal growth is possible, having a therapist by your side can be instrumental in navigating the complexities of the process. A therapist serves as a supportive guide, offering a safe space for individuals to explore and understand their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Jennifer pointed out that the external perspective provided by a therapist can shed light on patterns and beliefs that may be hindering progress.

In an article by APA, we learn five important signs that signal to us that PTG is occurring:

• Appreciation of life 
• Relationships with others 
• New possibilities in life
• Personal strength
• Spiritual change

It was equally intriguing to find that women with an innate optimistic perspective, combined with extroverted social inclinations, seemed to have a natural inclination toward post-traumatic growth. This alignment may clarify why I found PTG relatively accessible, given that I precisely fit this profile. Fortunately, not fitting this predisposition doesn’t render PTG unattainable. There could be an unexplored predisposition that witnessing someone else’s PTG may make one’s journey toward PTG more attainable.

For example, It wasn’t apparent to me until attempting to write this article, but I did have the advantage of observing my grandfather, Wesley Colvin, recover some of his abilities after enduring severe wounds and PTSD in WWII. My grandmother recounted his struggles with nightmares, seeing unimaginable things like the haunting memory of a mortar shell exploding and removing part of his skull. A titanium plate was placed to cover the missing portion of his head, and although he faced a lifelong battle with balance, he became my initial inspiration that life after PTSD was achievable. He never allowed anything to hinder him, continuing to repair cars and attend every concert or sports event I participated in. He was often triggered by the smell of gunpowder. Eventually, Wesley pushed himself to go back to the range and face the things that were hindering his normal activity in life, slowly gaining power over the things that once stirred anxiety. He was my first proof that successfully navigating around PTSD challenges was possible. My sister Bonnie was equally inspiring, showing me what she learned through a harrowing postpartum acute mental health crisis and generalized anxiety diagnosis.

It’s crucial to note that while post-traumatic growth explains personal development and optimal positive change following intense adversity, it is not universally attainable. It’s important to recognize that individuals with brain injuries, preexisting mental disorders, or diminished cognitive capacities may face unique challenges in their ability to experience such growth. For these individuals, the focus often shifts towards managing and adapting to their conditions rather than experiencing growth in the traditional sense. Their journey may involve different forms of resilience and coping, emphasizing the importance of understanding and supporting their specific needs and limitations.

Thirteen years have elapsed since my challenging encounter with a brain tumor. Recently, while dining with friends in a crowded, noisy restaurant, I found myself in the grip of a panic attack. In that intense moment, I coached myself internally, “You know the drill—your instinct is to bolt, but if you stay, it will pass, and you’ll enjoy a fantastic time.” Implementing grounding distraction techniques, I weathered the storm, and after about three minutes, the panic receded. To my surprise, I not only stayed but also relished the best evening. It’s a feat I never imagined achieving, underscoring the profound value of conquering small, incremental battles on the path to personal growth over time.

 Hope exists, and that belief is genuinely empowering.

The post Post Traumatic Hope: A Journey From Trauma to Transcendence appeared first on Public Square Magazine.

We may not want to admit it, but many of us are like this fat gray cat. We don’t do harm; we don’t do much good—we get by.  

I recently listened to an interesting YouTube video where the presenter asked, “Do we live in a pathologically mediocre society where people are thin and flimsy, aggregates of human qualities rather than actual human beings?”  He went on to make his case that most of us are mediocre. He quoted Kierkegaard, who said, “Let others complain that the age is wicked; my complaint is that it is wretched; for it lacks passion.”  

I think he is right. Occasionally I will meet someone who is truly Alive—it is rare enough to make an impression. But otherwise, we seem mostly to be getting by like this fat gray cat. We move about, we seem occupied, but underlying boredom and apathy haunt our busyness.

Why are we mediocre?

G.K. Chesterton would argue that the cause of our wretchedness is a lack of wonder: “The world will never starve for want of wonders; but only for want of wonder.”

At the beginning of the story, he holds a pistol to the head of Professor Eames, a man famous for his lectures on pessimism. His ideology sees pessimism as the one true philosophy—life is not worth living. However, the shock of being nearly murdered by Innocent Smith forces Professor Eames to realize that life is, in fact, precious. He wakes up to Life and discards his cynicism. 

Innocent Smith finds that to stay “Alive,” he must continually re-enchant his life with wonder. He wanders the world so he may return to his home with a rekindled appreciation. He has affairs with numerous women who all turn out to be his own wife. He breaks into his own home like a robber so he can view his possessions with envy. His behavior is disconcerting to most people who encounter him. However, others, in seeing his vitality and joy, awaken to the mediocrity and ingratitude of their lives.

When accused of insanity because of his continual breach of norms, Innocent Smith corrects our notion of madness, “Madness does not come by breaking out, but by giving in; by settling down in some dirty, little, self-repeating circle of ideas; by being tamed.”

Professor Eames encourages him to keep his gun and use it to awaken others from their self-deceit and mediocrity. Smith declares, “I am going to hold a pistol to the head of the Modern Man. But I shall not use it to kill him—only to bring him to life.”

Be a Holy Fool

Manalive follows the theme of many works of great literature, which depict a character, a holy fool or unlikely hero, who seems slow, idealistic, silly, or backward to others—yet who we discover is the one character who truly sees the world as it should be seen. Some books with this holy fool include—Alyosha in The Brothers Karamazov, Diamond in At the Back of the North Wind, Don Quixote, Pollyanna, and Despereaux in The Tale of Despereaux.

We are commanded to become like little children, and children are “holy fools.” They stare in wonder at the caterpillar crossing the road. They are enchanted by a snowstorm. They beg to push the button on the elevator. They will trade all their savings for one gummy bear.

“What was wonderful about childhood is that anything in it was a wonder. It was not merely a world full of miracles; it was a miraculous world.”  ~G.K. Chesterton

My youngest daughter, 6, is one of the most dramatic people I know. She bounces between extreme excitement and boiling anger. I am the “best mother in the entire world,” or I have “never done anything nice for her, EVER!” I have had many discussions with her about showing proper respect and controlling her emotions—but at the same time, I am glad she is passionate. I never want my teaching on manners and self-control to stamp out her wild and wondrous nature. 

Our modern pharmaceutical mindset would cause many to want to “cure” the bipolar tendencies of such a changing nature. If Mozart, Van Gogh, Tesla, Poe, and Newton were born today, they would likely be medicated out of their eccentricities, as well as their geniuses. Truth, goodness, and beauty are not tame and controllable; they are wild and free. Often I find myself in a room of adults and discover that everyone seems bored—we are “all politeness” and no excitement—we have been tamed. 

Robert Boyle, the Father of modern Chemistry, explains that in childhood, we can see most clearly, that we are our most true selves. We are not yet bored by the miracle of everyday living. He writes: 

We must try to recover the candour and wonder of the child—the unspoilt realism and objectivity of innocence. Or if we cannot do that, we must try at least to shake off the cloud of mere custom and see the thing as new, if only by seeing it as unnatural. Things that may well be familiar so long as familiarity breeds affection had much better become unfamiliar when familiarity breeds contempt. We must invoke the most wild and soaring sort of imagination—the imagination that can see what is there.

Awake

In the Bible, many scriptures begin with the plea to Awake! God seems to be pleading with us like our 1st-period high school teacher would—care, act, see, listen!

Thessalonians 4:6 says, “So then let us not sleep, as others do, but let us keep awake.”

Sleep is a coping mechanism. We have all awoken to a gloomy, rainy day, pulled the sheets over our heads, and gone back to sleep. Childhood trauma, unresolved grief, and chronic adversity can cause us to determine that to live, and to feel, will only lead to more suffering. When we live in fear of pain and loss, we may go out into this gloomy life, but we won’t risk being hurt as we once were. So we push down our vitality, our passion, our wonder—we get by. 

Years ago, I became acquainted with a young mother who, because of trauma from her childhood, had decided that caring about things had led to too much suffering. I could never get her engaged in more than shallow conversations; she would never show joy or sorrow. Her children were similar to their mother, as is often the case. She had wrapped her broken heart in a blanket of apathy. She did not feel the pain of disappointment and sorrow, but her range of emotion had narrowed so that love and joy also eluded her. 

Thankfully she began speaking to a trusted friend who helped her see the importance of letting herself feel what needs to be felt and finding herself protected in the arms of her Heavenly Father. She summoned the one virtue that can most aid us in this awakening—in pushing the covers off and waking up—Courage. She changed. She let herself become vulnerable. Her children begin to feel the vitality of their mother’s unmuted love. Pain came, and then it went—for she now knew her God. 

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give it to no one … But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”  ~C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

Rejoice

Our brains are wired to see the negative before the positive. This is a protective mechanism—our brains want us to notice the snake and not be distracted by the beautiful roses. That’s good because we want to avoid snakes, but we need to rise above it. We need to allow our souls, who still recognize the safe arms of God, to override our brain’s negative tilt. We need to willfully smell the roses. We need to overemphasize the good to compensate. Healthy cultures and people dance, they have feasts, they have days of celebration, they worship—and they are enlivened and ready to face the rain and gloom.

Life is for rejoicing, for action, for victory—with a good mix of suffering thrown in to keep us grateful for the joyful interludes. We live in a universe full of wonders. 

Tell me not, in mournful numbers,

     Life is but an empty dream!—

For the soul is dead that slumbers,

     And things are not what they seem.

Life is real! Life is earnest!

     And the grave is not its goal;

Dust thou art, to dust returnest,

     Was not spoken of the soul.

~Excerpt from Psalm of Life, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

To avoid becoming a mediocre, dreary, predictable, “tame” person, we must shake off the dust of our own numbing ingratitude and truly appreciate the everyday wonders before us. The love of a spouse is a miracle. The song of a bird is a miracle. The taste of a mango is a miracle.

“The whole order of things is as outrageous as any miracle which could presume to violate it.”  ~G.K. Chesterton

If we succeed in truly Living, we will likely seem strange to those around us, as the holy fools in literature are strange to all but the most humble. “Living” men and women change the way they view the world. They reject the drudgery of materialism. They believe in things that others have grown cynical about, such as love, sacrifice, and faith. They fight and forgive. They glory and praise.

Living Below Our Birthright

We are meant to be Awake and Alive, even if everyone else is dull and asleep. Kierkegaard continues his commentary on the passionless ordinary man to point out that we are living far below our potential: 

Men’s thoughts are thin and flimsy like lace … The thoughts of their hearts are too paltry to be sinful. For a worm, it might be regarded as a sin to harbor such thoughts, but not for a being made in the image of God.

Christ would compare our propensity to mediocrity to the temperature of lukewarm water. He Himself suggests it is better to run hot, for at least then you have actively chosen your fate. The passionately-wrong are, if they are open, more easily turned in the opposite direction. A speeding vehicle can easily do a donut and face the other way. A slow and steady truck—weighed down by habit and custom—is much more difficult to shift. Saul became Paul in an instant as he rushed to imprison Christians in Damascus. The more measured and compromising Sadducees were witnesses to miracles, yet their weight of tradition, pride, and prejudice made them unchangeable. 

We are beings of eternal destiny. What a tragedy it is to be a fat gray cat in human form. 

C.S. Lewis gave us a glimpse of what we may be in his famous quote from The Weight of Glory: 

It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest, most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. 

How do we develop and become this goddess? How can we reignite this wonder? That fat gray cat is a product of his environment and has been trained to be mediocre, and mediocre he will stay—he can’t grow back his claws, he can’t regain his killer instinct. But we retain a wild and free will, buried and dusty though it may be. We can shake off the dust. We can discover again the wildness of life and allow it to flow through our lives. As we begin to recognize our need for wonder and gratitude and the need to recognize miracles and be a miracle in the lives of others—we can learn to LIVE AGAIN.

The post Living In a World of Declawed Souls appeared first on Public Square Magazine.

Conceptualizing Our Own Experience

With mental illness on the rise, phrases like “I can’t just pray away my depression” or “I did not choose to feel this way” are increasingly common, reflecting a struggle with mental health and spiritual practice. People may feel betrayed when religious actions do not seem to alleviate their mental distress. This leads to a faulty assumption that God operates like a vending machine, providing relief in exchange for piety. However, this mindset proves inadequate.

Some then adopt a medical model, viewing their mental health issues as pathologies. Jacob Hess observed that, for these individuals, the focus becomes managing and coping rather than seeking deeper healing. While initially comforting, this model can limit hope and change. Caught between “praying our struggles away” and “I have a disease,” many find themselves grappling with a mix of environmental and genetic factors to explain their experiences.

Asking Not Amiss

The Book of Mormon prophet Nephi emphasizes this point, “Yea, I know that God will give liberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I ask not amiss.” We often categorize questions as ‘right’ or ‘wrong,’ and church leaders advise against asking questions with known answers. What does that look like, then, when we question things like career or mental health that typically depend on the context of our lives?

Perhaps, asking ‘not amiss’ means posing questions in a way that allows for an answer. During trials, if we merely ask God to remove our difficulties, we may limit His ability to respond. This approach assumes a closed positionality and that Heavenly Father should work according to our timeline. The question “Can you take this away?” is restrictive, suggesting that if He doesn’t remove the problem or provide an answer, He is not listening or lacks power.

However, seeking help in more engaging ways can lead to better, more insightful personal revelation. By asking genuine, open questions, we involve ourselves in the process of change and create space for divine guidance.

The Atonement of Jesus Christ and Mental Health 

In discussing mental health, Jeffrey R. Holland, an apostle of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, reminds us that we live in a fallen world where our pursuit of godliness is tested. A Savior, the Redeemer, was promised to lift us triumphantly over those tests and trials through our faith. He states, “It is only an appreciation of this divine love that will make our own lesser suffering first bearable, then understandable, and finally redemptive.”

We can mistakenly treat Christ’s atonement and divine love like a magic pill to fix our circumstances or as an ultimate coping skill. Although Christ does provide support, the atonement is significantly more than that. The late Bruce R. McConkie, also an apostle of the Church of Jesus Christ, notes, “The atonement of Christ is the most basic and fundamental doctrine of the gospel, and it is the least understood.” By asking closed-ended questions, we limit our understanding and healing. We can miss that the Atonement is a powerful process of engagement and change.

The Atonement, or ‘at-one-ment,’ allows us to be ‘at one’ with Jesus Christ. In other languages, reconciliation—meaning “to sit with”—is used to describe it. Instead of viewing the Atonement as something we use, we should see it as an intentional collaboration with Christ. Rather than asking for a trial to be removed, we can seek His peace, strength, and guidance.

Christ strengthens and directs us as we act. He “sits with us,” granting strength, wisdom, and love as we invite Him into our lives. However, our agency allows us to choose whether to turn to Him. Some things, even within the context of mental illness, are up to us.

Mental Health and Moral Agency

Agency is central to the faith of members of the Church of Jesus Christ. In their doctrine, Satan was cast down to preserve our agentic nature. However, when discussing agency and mental health, many mistakenly equate it to ‘choice.’ Insinuating that someone in despair ‘chose’ their feelings is not entirely accurate and can be unintentionally hurtful. Agency extends beyond choice, especially in the context of mental health, encompassing a holistic ‘way-of-being’ in the world. Dr. Edwin Gantt and Dr. Jeffrey Thayne state that “human action is always agentic,” even as we engage with prior events, meanings, and relationships.

One way to understand agency is by comparing it to functional fitness, which includes everyday physical activities that promote overall health. Sometimes we engage in these activities consciously, while other times, we do so unconsciously. When experiencing pain, it often results from long-term misuse of the body before pain manifests. Addressing symptoms is important, but finding the root causes is also essential for true healing.

Asking Different Questions and Changing Our Own Experience

During my husband Blake’s time on BYU’s hockey team, I often found myself sending up pleas for a miracle breakaway goal to win close games like any sports fan in a tight game. Yet, I didn’t pray for them to have productive practices, to form team cohesion, or to spend more time working on their umbrella power play, which sorely needed the work. Similarly, we might ask a loving God for help during our own figurative third periods instead of asking for his help with the life choices leading to those moments. By focusing on the symptoms, we may overlook the opportunity to engage with Heavenly Father in all aspects of our lives.

God invites us to pray for the capability of a championship performance rather than relying on last-minute miracles, even if I fully believe He is capable of performing them. Suffering can teach us valuable life lessons. What if we prayed to see our experiences more clearly, for Christ to ‘sit with us,’ to recognize our contributions to our situation, or to find the right people to help us? These open-ended questions allow God to guide us more effectively.

Elder Holland said in a BYU devotional: “As you labor to know him, and to know that he knows you … you will indeed find that ‘he shall give his angel charge concerning thee and in their hands, they shall bear thee up’ (Matthew 4:6). It may not come quickly … But there is purpose in the time it takes.”

Mental distress is complex and personal. Finding different ways to engage with our experiences doesn’t negate their reality. We can experience hope and change through Christ if we allow His love and healing into our lives. Healing may take time, but trusting in Him will lead to greater light and knowledge as we seek the right questions to ask our Heavenly Father, who is always eager to help us on our journey.

The post Beyond Coping: A New Approach to Mental Health Healing appeared first on Public Square Magazine.

 “Why do men like pornography so much?”

 Based on years of scholarly research and public engagement, I believe the answer is simple: Pornography produces quick, reliable orgasms without the vulnerability that comes with intimacy. Men can experience sexual pleasure while staying in control. Or, more accurately, the appearance of control. More on that at the end.

Explicit Material Intensifies the Detachment

The feminist critique of pornography—the basis for my writing and speaking on the subject—focuses on the harm to women, psychological and physical, in the production of sexually explicit material; the sexist and racist images that dominate the pornography market; and the influence those images have on consumers’ sexual imaginations.

 In the time I’ve been studying the pornography industry, some things have changed. Most obvious is the technologies—from magazines and movies, the industry moved to home videos and the internet. Pornography became more accessible and affordable. Other trends are equally obvious: In those three decades, the women in pornography have been asked to perform increasingly more intense and dangerous sex acts; the cruel and degrading nature of the images has intensified; and more girls and women are using pornography, which once had been almost exclusively a male pursuit.

 One thing remains the same for the still mostly male consumers: Pornography appears to provide sexual pleasure without the risks that come with intimacy.

When we are sexual with another person, we open ourselves up to intense emotions that can’t be predicted or easily controlled. In a culture that trains us to stay in control, many men believe sexual intimacy is a potential threat to that sense of power. Pornography provides the illusion of a sexual experience without risk. But it comes with costs.

Behind women’s question about men’s love of pornography is often an experience of male partners who seem remote or disconnected in lovemaking. Sometimes that’s a problem independent of pornography, but men’s habitual use of sexually explicit material intensifies the detachment. I’ve talked to many women after these presentations, and that struggle with men who detach rather than engage emotionally during sex was a common theme. To make it more difficult, some of those habitual users also initiate sexual acts that female partners find uncomfortable or painful—the kind of “rough sex” that is standard fare in pornography.

 The feminist critique doesn’t rest on judgments about people’s sexual desire but on the negative consequences for the women used in producing pornography and used by men who consume pornography. The critique doesn’t pretend that the end of pornography would eliminate men’s sexual exploitation of women. But in a pornography-saturated culture, it would be folly to ignore the role of that particular media genre in our lives.

 The feminist critique focuses on the harm to women, which is appropriate for that movement. But the feminists I have worked with are also aware of the downside of pornography for men. That doesn’t mean that all heterosexual men have the same experience or that gay men’s experiences are exactly the same. But based on formal interviews and informal conversations with hundreds of men, I believe there is a pattern in men’s distress over pornography use.

Human Vulnerability 

 There’s a second trap in which many men get caught: their habitual use of pornography starts to control them. I’ve listened to many men talk about the pain of realizing how pornography has colonized their sexual imagination. Men have told me they can’t have sex with a partner without thinking of pornography. In extreme cases, men who use pornography compulsively experience erectile dysfunction with partners. But no matter how much they realize the downside, many men cannot stop masturbating to pornography. Whether or not pornography is officially classified as an addiction—and I think it should be—some men cannot get out of an addictive-like cycle.

 My only advice to such men is that if they try to cope with their distress alone, they will fail. The only way out of that cycle of arousal and regret is to give up the illusion of control. Therapy can help when counselors understand the destructive dynamics of pornography. Talking openly and honestly with other men is important. For me, the feminist critique of pornography and male dominance more generally was essential to seeing a different way of living. Opening up to a therapist, to other men, to feminists—all require that we open up to the vulnerability, which is part of being human.

Related Articles 

• The Misguided Self: How Individualism Fuels Compulsive Pornography Use
• Whose Body Will Save Us from The Pain Inside?
• A Christian Virtue Approach to Compulsive Pornography Use

The post Lost in a Sea of Pixels: Men, Pornography, and the Illusion of Control appeared first on Public Square Magazine.

Then her living nightmare got much worse. She noticed at school that the boys were looking at their mobile phones, acting strangely, and then looking at her. What she didn’t know then was that one of the older boys who raped her had made a video of the rape. He had uploaded the video to a website called Pornhub, where it was being viewed by thousands of visitors.

We at the National Center on Sexual Exploitation have filed a class action lawsuit against Pornhub in federal court on behalf of the thousands of minors, like Jane and Sarah, whose images have been uploaded to Pornhub and monetized.

The numbers are staggering. A New York Times  investigation called the proliferation of child sexual abuse material an “almost unfathomable” increase in criminality: from 600,000 images reported to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children in 2008 to 60 million in 2018. Further, reports increased by 35 percent between 2020 and 2021.

How can these horrible things occur, and why aren’t law enforcement agencies prosecuting Pornhub? Here is the truly distressing part. Three years ago, there were 7 million videos uploaded to Pornhub alone. That’s 19,000 videos per day. There are hundreds, perhaps thousands, of online platforms like Pornhub on the internet. Anyone, regardless of intent or motive, can upload hardcore pornographic videos to these platforms, including rape videos and child sexual abuse material, more commonly known as child pornography. These platforms operate like criminal enterprises. They do not require that the participants shown in the videos (like Jane and Sarah) be 18 or older. They don’t seem to care. They do not require the consent of the person shown in the video. This isn’t even an after-thought, as they often refuse to delete the videos from their sites when requested to do so by persons who never consented to the uploading in the first place or who were minors when the images were made. Though they make enormous sums of money from viewers and advertisers in the United States, most of these sex trafficking websites are registered in foreign countries and are hard to sue.

But it’s not just the hard-core pornography websites that are profiting from child sexual abuse and the trafficking of its victims. Platforms such as Twitter, Reddit, TikTok, Snapchat, and others also have child sexual abuse material on their sites and monetize it. Indeed, all of these named online platforms are defendants in lawsuits alleging their culpability in violating sex trafficking and child sexual abuse laws.

We represent two boys who were groomed by an apparent pedophile online when they were both 13. Their child sexual abuse images were uploaded to Twitter, where they were viewed, tweeted, and retweeted thousands of times. There were hundreds of downloads. The boys and their families contacted Twitter and demanded that the images be removed. Twitter responded by stating, in writing, that it had viewed the images; they did not violate Twitter policies and would not be removed. It was only with the help of an official from the Department of Homeland Security, who contacted Twitter directly, that Twitter deleted the sexually explicit images of the boys from its site. But the damage had been done.

Why do these platforms think they can get away with this? Well, there is a federal law that went on the books in 1997, ironically named the Communications Decency Act (CDA). Rather than promoting “decency,” it did the opposite. Section 230 of that law purports to give online platforms absolute immunity from third-party content uploaded to the sites. The platforms even claim it immunizes them from liability when monetizing uploaded rape videos and child pornography. These platforms have used CDA 230 as a shield protecting them from the consequences of their bad behavior since its enactment.

In response, Congress passed two laws in 2018 called FOSTA (Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act) and SESTA (“Stop Enabling Sex Traffickers Act). The National Center on Sexual Exploitation was instrumental in passing these laws. FOSTA-SESTA essentially removes CDA 230 immunity when online platforms such as Pornhub and Twitter engage in a venture with sex traffickers or benefit from sex trafficking.

Our class action case against Pornhub is moving forward. As in our Twitter case, the federal district court judge rejected Pornhub’s claim of immunity under CDA 230. In a first-in-the-nation ruling, the federal court held that there could be no immunity for disseminating child sexual abuse material on the internet or anywhere else, as Pornhub has done.

One wonders why companies like Twitter and Pornhub allow their platforms to be used to disseminate child sexual abuse material. There is big money in it through advertising and paywalls. And, at least for Twitter, as long as the public generally remains ignorant of its business practice, there is no reputational risk.

Immediately after the publication of a December 2020 New York Times article called “The Children of Pornhub,” Pornhub deleted over 11 million videos from its site. This article was an exposé on the immense volume of child sexual abuse material on the Pornhub site. The fact that Pornhub knew exactly which 11 million videos to delete is telling. Prior to the article, there had been countless complaints to the site about child sexual abuse material with no action taken.

Twitter likes to promote that it has a “no tolerance policy” for child sexual abuse material. The reality is that there are thousands of child sexual abuse images bought, sold, and traded on Twitter every single day. Its “no tolerance policy” is a complete sham. Indeed, in its pleadings in federal court, it is asserting the position that it can do business with sex traffickers without losing its federal immunity. We will soon see what the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals thinks of that argument.

Eventually, it will take a conclusive ruling from the United States Supreme Court that CDA 230 provides no immunity for platforms like Twitter and Pornhub, both of which allow sex trafficking and child sexual abuse material on their sites. In the meantime, children like Jane and Sarah will continue to be victimized, and Pornhub and Twitter will continue to rake in profits from their images.

In the meantime, we will continue to pursue justice for survivors and work to hold online pornography companies to account.

The post The Horrifying Reality of Child Porn and its Enablers appeared first on Public Square Magazine.