Why did I write this book?
Like many psychologists, I have been increasingly concerned with the rising tide of narcissism. I am also aware of God’s use of terms like “chosen” and “special” in scriptures to designate individuals and groups. As I am always interested in the interface of psychology and faith, I wrote this book to examine the confluence of narcissism and being chosen and to help members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and other Chrisitan faiths, understand the truth and the lie at play in being God’s “chosen people.”
The Truth
The truth is that we are special because we are all children of a Heavenly Father who loves us and with whom we enjoyed a special, personal relationship prior to coming to earth. Having left his presence we feel a void or a kind of homesickness that reminds us that we are more than merely mortal beings and inclines us toward our Father and his love.
The Lie
The lie is that we are special and others are not. We are uniquely set above others for greatness in this life and/or the next. The void we feel signifies our personal destiny for glory and inclines us toward the fame, prestige, wealth, and superiority over others we deserve.
The Quadrants
Each of us is enticed by the truth and by the lie throughout our lives. I have identified quadrants in my book to represent the ways in which we can be enticed. Whenever we accept both the truth and the lie we behave like ‘the Pharisee’ who is lifted up in self-righteous pride. At those times when we disregard the truth and embrace the lie, we become as ‘the Egoist’ who focuses on self-gratification, always wanting more. Hopelessness and alienation mark those moments when we, like ‘the Nihilist,’ deny the truth and the lie and feel worthless. However, there are also times when we are filled with the love of God and, like ‘the Disciple,’ we accept the truth and deny the lie. As we learn to practice discipleship more regularly the feeling of the void diminishes, we are filled with charity, and we reach out to bless the lives of all those around us.
Fluidity
The concept of fluid quadrants is unlike traditional personality texts that tend to stereotype and classify people into a particular type. The quadrants apply to everyone because we all respond to the truth and the lie in each of these four ways at different times and with some regularity.
Discipline
The book provides a very practical and achievable method of gaining discipline over the fluidity with which we move through the quadrants. Regular application of the psychological practices of hindsight evaluation, mindfulness, letting go, and vigilance, combined with the resources God has provided us to fill the void such as the influence of the Holy Spirit and participation in the atonement through repentance and forgiveness, will steadily move the reader toward an increased amount of time spent in the quadrant of discipleship and a decreased amount of time spent in the other three quadrants.
Questions for the Reader to consider:
1. Have you ever had the feeling that you might be special? Do you feel like you might have a special mission or destiny? Do you read books like Harry Potter and wonder if you might be chosen for greatness? If so, how have you typically interpreted these feelings?
2. Have you ever felt a kind of void or lack inside of you, something unfulfilled, or a longing for something more than a mundane mortal existence? What have you understood that to mean? How have you tried to fill that void in the past?
3. If you are a child of a divine king, a prince or princess endowed with remarkable gifts, talents, and qualities, how does or should that feel?
4. Have you ever felt more special or superior to another person or other people? What did that feeling do for you? What, if anything, did it satisfy in you or say about you?
5. Think about times you have believed both the truth and the lie. What did you have in common with the Pharisees and Scribes of Christ’s time while you dwelled in this quadrant? Did this offer any fulfillment or relief of any sense of a void or a lack in your life? Did it last?
6. Think about times when you have denied the truth and accepted the lie. What did you have in common with the egoist while you dwelled in this quadrant. Did the pursuit of selfish pride and pleasure give you any relief or fulfillment of a void or a lack in your life? Did it last?
7. Think about times you have denied both the truth and the lie. What did you have in common with the nihilist while you dwelled in this quadrant? Did the hopelessness and despair of self-deprecation offer any fulfillment or relief of any sense of a void or a lack in your life? Did it last?
8. Think about times you have believed the truth and denied the lie. What did you have in common with the disciples of Christ time while you dwelled in this quadrant? Did this offer any fulfillment or relief of any sense of a void or a lack in your life? Did it last?
9. What small and incremental steps can you take today to increase how often you dwell in the disciple quadrant and how long you stay there? What barriers are there to entering this quadrant and how can they be overcome?
10. How can you more fully embrace and apply the practice of losing yourself in the will of Christ in your life?
