When Fairways Become Pathways: Lessons on Resilience from the Rough

I have been golfing for as long as I can remember. It was fun and became a way to let off some excess energy as a child. But as I grew older and life lost that childhood joy, I came to view my beloved sport differently—rather as a beautiful place I could go to get away from the struggles of day-to-day life and draw near to my Creator. 

The more time I spent on the course working on my putting and talking to God, the more I realized how golf can teach us to navigate the inevitable obstacles that life is going to throw at us. 

Lessons from the Rough 

Landing in the rough is inevitable, but there can be a lesson in everything. One particular day on the golf course, I was having a pretty bad round. Work was stressful, my relationships were suffering, and I set foot on the course, highly frustrated and tense. It was not long (only hole two, to be exact) before a poor shot landed me right in the rough.

When I finally found my ball, I sank to the ground beside it, annoyed with myself and, perhaps, slightly annoyed with God for all my misfortune. However, in that moment of irritation, a cool breeze washed over me and I felt this voice telling me, “It’s alright—I’m here and listening.” I poured my heart out that day as I sat in the rough. And through golf, I came away with a new understanding of how to navigate the difficulties that life can throw our way.

The Rough: A Metaphor for Life’s Challenges 

No golfer wants to land in the rough because it can be a struggle to get out of. However, it can also be a powerful metaphor for the challenges of life and a lesson on how best to deal with unpredictable experiences. For instance, landing in the rough is never planned. You hit your shot to the best of your ability, but something else happens to veer it off course. It could be an error on your part, such as a miscalculated swing, or it could be attributed to some external circumstances like a change in the wind. 

In the same way, life’s rough can be as unpredictable as the golf course, loaded with obstacles that are not always immediately apparent and can be tough to navigate without losing something. And ultimately, we all end up in the rough at some point. 

Focus on the End Goal 

In golf, the key to navigating the rough is to focus on the green. Similarly, in life, it can be helpful to focus on where you want to be, not where you currently are. It can be hard to get out of the rough if that’s where your focus is. Your mindset towards and focus on your goals are essential to get your desired end result. This can be applied to anything in life. Whether you are struggling to find a job or experiencing relationship difficulties, you must look beyond the current circumstances of your life and strive to understand what needs to happen to achieve your desired goals. Focusing on the problem will only get you so far, whereas focusing on the solution can help you understand how to get to where you want to go. With this in mind, there are a few things that can help in that endeavor. 

Assessing the Situation 

As a golfer, you do not just walk up to the ball and take a swing. It is best to take a few moments to assess where the ball landed and how you should play it. Each circumstance is different. When faced with a rough moment in life, the same principle can apply. In this way, we can differentiate between focusing on the problem in unproductive ways and pondering the best course of action. Running up to our problems and taking a swing at them is often not the best solution. Taking a bit of time to evaluate the situation, understand the challenge, and decide on a course of action can be invaluable. 

Once you have assessed the situation, you can more adequately prepare to take the shot. Likewise, once you fully understand where you are at in life, taking steps to set yourself up for success can give you a boost. You can take the time to stop, breathe, and choose your action. You can seek guidance through prayer or find strength in scripture. In addition, choosing the right tools and seeking support can help you along the way. 

Choosing the Right Tools 

Additionally, there is no universal club to get out of the rough. What we use can depend on a number of other things. For instance, the distance to the green, the wind, the slope, and other factors will influence the approach a golfer takes to the challenge. In life, some ways of handling the rough are better than others, but there is no universal way to tackle them. Selecting the right tool by taking the time to adequately assess the situation can make or break your effort to get out of the rough and sail towards your goals.

Instead of choosing between a 7-wood or a 9-iron as you might in golf, in real-life circumstances, you might have to choose between exercise, therapy, or other forms of self-improvement and support. We can take the time to consider what might be the best tool to help with our individual circumstances.

Seeking Support 

Golfers who assume the caddie is simply there to carry their bags are potentially missing out on excellent advice and guidance. These quiet guides are loaded with wisdom and experience specific to the course, local weather, and other relevant information. In the same way, when you land in life’s rough, you can seek support. Mentors, family, friends, and faith communities could hold ideas, knowledge, and points of view that can help you see a way out of the rough that you may not have thought of on your own. 

During the Rough Time 

While the shot happens fast and does not always end in desirable circumstances, there is still a lot to be gained from the process. The following steps can help you orient yourself to a rough real-life situation. 

• Accept Your Situation: In golfing terms, play the ball as it lies! That means accepting current circumstances and adapting your actions to suit the situation. 
• Embrace the Process: Understand that difficulties happen. Bitterness serves no purpose, so embrace the rough patches and try to treat it as an opportunity to learn. 
• Stay Positive: Your attitude going through the rough can change the outcome. Check your attitude and fake it ‘til you make it if you have to! According to therapist Alison Seponara, a “short, powerful statement that allows you to consciously be in control of your thoughts” is an excellent tool. 
• Visualize: Have an idea of how you want your situation to go, and keep that focus as you go. In other words, “What you think about, you bring about!” 
• Take Your Time: Although we would all like to get out of the rough as fast as possible, taking your time allows you to do it right the first time. As the saying goes, “haste makes waste!”
• Forgive Yourself: Whether by your own mistakes or happenstance, difficulties are destined to happen in life. Placing blame, even on oneself, is not always the best way to move forward. You can allow yourself to be ‘human’ and recognize that negative experiences are a part of the process. 

After the Experience 

Once you’ve navigated the rough of life (or golf), you can seize the opportunity to learn. These specific steps may help you in moving forward. 

• Reflect and Learn: Analyze what worked and what did not, and learn for next time. We cannot learn the lessons of past experiences without first understanding them. From there, we can go out and improve what needs to be improved. 
• Express Gratitude: While it can be difficult to be grateful for the ‘rough,’ we can recognize the good that can come from it in a way that does not have to ignore the difficulties. However, gratitude can make it easier to navigate through. 
• Share your Experience: Offer encouragement to others going through the same thing as you. 
• Seek Continued Support: The rough will come again. Maintain your support system and nurture those relationships. 

It has taken me almost a lifetime of playing golf to understand that it can be an amazing metaphor for life. As golfing great Ben Hogan has said, “As you walk down the fairway of life, you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round.” While I can find the overlaps with good times in life, I take comfort in knowing that when I’m struggling, I have a game plan and the perfect caddie guiding me through life—our Creator.