Father & Daughter Sitting Together at Picnic Table | Beyond Counting Blessings: Gratitude for 2023 | Public Square Magazine | Spiritual Benefits of Gratitude in the Bible

Beyond Counting Blessings: Gratitude for 2023

What's the true impact of gratitude? It's a pathway to joy, improved well-being, and enriched relationships, proving essential for a fulfilling and balanced life.

Have you been tempted to discount the message of the song “Count Your Blessings?” Recent research suggests that might be a mistake. People who count their blessings (one by one) report being happier and less depressed. Gratitude is often defined as a recognition of the goodness in your life, and being aware of fortunate circumstances seems to make life a little better.

Despite this easy definition, gratitude is not simple. It’s rather complex. It can range from feelings of appreciation to a sense of benefit from being able to give and help others. Gratitude helps us as individuals feel and function better, but also creates a sense of connection and even healing within our relationships—romantic and otherwise.

Gratitude and Individual Well-being

Gratitude is regularly and strongly connected with happiness. Grateful people feel more positive emotions, savor good experiences, report better health (better sleep, lower blood pressure, and fewer aches and pains), deal with adversity better (more optimism and positive emotion), and report more joy and pleasure. It’s no wonder that gratitude is considered the best medicine as it heals the body, mind, and soul.

Gratitude is regularly and strongly connected with happiness.

The spiritual benefits of gratitude help people appreciate what they have instead of longing for the next new something. Recognizing the present good in your life curbs the need to always strive for every physical and material need to be met. Gratitude helps us refocus on what is present in life and not what is lacking. French critic and novelist Alphonse Karr (1808-1890) chided, “Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns; I am thankful that thorns have roses.”

Rabbi Harold Kushner admonished, “If you concentrate on finding whatever is good in every situation, you will discover that your life will suddenly be filled with gratitude, a feeling that nurtures the soul.” Gratitude is not about what we get but the quality of how we live. Life-changing gratitude opens our awareness to all the goodness in our lives. 

Gratitude and Relationships

Gratitude is a social emotion, and it is relational or interactive in nature. Gratitude strengthens relationships because it encourages support or affirmation by a loved one. One theory suggests that gratitude is meaningful for relationships because it fuels an upward spiral of mutually responsive behaviors. In fact, therapists have attributed gratitude with creating a positive feedback loop.

Gratitude does not ask that we ignore the hard parts of life. We acknowledge that life is difficult and not necessarily what we want. However, even when only the fringes of our present experiences are good, we can celebrate the small joys. Because gratitude helps create connection even in the context of lack or scarcity, it increases feelings of abundance when feelings of want could rob joy. 

Research shows that gratitude is one way partners can slow down and be more mindful and present in a relationship, which benefits not only the romantic relationship but the sexual relationship as well. 

Man Sitting Alone in the Woods | Beyond Counting Blessings: Gratitude for 2023 | Public Square Magazine | Spiritual Benefits of Giving Thanks to God Through GratitudeA person who sees life through “gratitude glasses” can acknowledge a partner’s efforts despite a disagreement. Grateful people enhance the positive emotions within relationships and minimize the toxic negative emotions. Because gratitude creates more stress resistance and nurtures a higher sense of self-worth, individuals who are consistently grateful create positive environments within their relationships.

Grateful individuals see a network of relationships and recognize how these connections contribute to a meaningful life. Having others who look out for your success, peace, and well-being dispels feelings of loneliness and encourages a sense of belonging.

Gratitude fosters love, compassion, and mercy.

The world’s leading scientific expert on gratitude, Robert Emmons, explains, “Gratitude is a power. Gratitude has the power to heal, to energize, and to change lives.” We recognize that goodness often comes from outside sources and feel a humble dependence that we have been provided for by someone else.

Gratitude as Giving 

Kristen Armstrong said, “When we focus on gratitude, the tide of disappointment goes out, and the tide of love rushes in.” Sometimes, this tide of love encourages us to seek out ways to help others—serve, donate, lift, or comfort. We feel good spending our time or resources to help the next guy down the line. “Pay it forward,” some might say. Again, finding joy in giving, lifting, or inspiring creates a positive feedback loop, which means we feel good when we give, and then we desire to give more freely. 

Gratitude is thought to be the mother of all virtues. The spiritual benefits of gratitude foster love, compassion, and mercy, to name a few. Gratitude, like mercy, benefits both the giver and the receiver. 

Shakespeare said of mercy:

The quality of mercy is not strain’d.
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest:
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes.

Try It Out

Think you don’t have time to practice gratitude? Think again. It’s a quality of being. Gratitude requires a short mental pause to consider external goodness that benefits us—for example, people, nature, or God. Gratitude is free and has no negative side effects, and any dosage begins the process of healing and happiness. We can boost our levels of gratitude and help gratitude grow stronger with use and practice. Embracing the spiritual benefits of gratitude takes no more time than grumbling about something and changes the trajectory of your moods and behaviors and even your relationships with others. This season of Thanksgiving may be the perfect time to develop a little more gratitude.

About the author

Chelom Leavitt

Chelom Leavitt is an associate professor at Brigham Young University. She studies healthy sexuality in committed relationships. Her recent publications include cross-cultural work on sexual mindfulness and women’s sexual response cycles. She has a J.D from BYU and a Ph.D. from Penn State.
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Now is the Time for Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men

You’ve heard it before: “Peace on earth, goodwill to men.” Whether viewed as prophecy for a hopeful future, as rebuke to a fallen world, or as the deep aspiration of many human hearts, these words invoke wonder still today, especially at a time like 2020. I believe these words point towards legitimate reasons for great hope in humanity’s future, even in the midst of our current distress. A closer look at their meaning provides a glimpse into bright possibilities. The modern-day enshrinement of these words was penned by the hand of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow during a time of deep personal sadness and grief in his 1863 poem “Christmas Bells.” Subsequently, these words have been sung by millions as the hymn “I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day.” Sadly, few choirs will sing this popular carol during the Christmas season this year as many of our most cherished traditions are disrupted by the continuing, unprecedented epidemic.  Notwithstanding the familiarity of these words in the modern context, their first recorded rendering came anciently in a most unusual setting. It was one of the few instances in all of secular or religious writings where an entire host of heavenly beings—angels—came to deliver a message to a few lucky ones on earth. Their entire message as recorded in Luke 2:14 of the New Testament was “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.” If there was more to the message or not, we don’t know. But this was the message that was recorded and handed down over thousands of years since that momentous event.  It was this short heavenly song of praise that Longfellow was referring to when he lamented that “hate is strong and mocks the song of peace on earth goodwill to men.” Then as now, we join Longfellow in observing a world stricken with contention, tragic death, and human suffering with no clear end in sight. As a bold counterpoint, however, his poem and the hymn conclude with a resounding proclamation of hope that indeed there will be yet “peace on earth and goodwill to men.” Is it possible to find for ourselves this same hope of which Longfellow wrote so long ago?    Some might assume that the author had somehow arrived at more pleasant circumstances and material conditions. Yet in describing his world that Christmas morning in 1863, Longfellow was feeling the weight of personal tragedy in the death of his wife and the strife of a hot civil war spreading devastating carnage across the land. In such a heavy time, he couldn’t help but underscore how much the surrounding hate he saw in the world seemed to mock the idea of peace and goodwill – a word that suggests to “tease or laugh at in a scornful or contemptuous manner.” The hate he was referring to, and which has the power to infect us in our own day, was between groups of people and between individuals who looked at each other with scorn and contempt. In an environment that fosters hate, any suggestion that feelings of scorn and contempt might be replaced with feelings of peace and goodwill can seem to be almost laughable (another reason it’s powerful to have a heavenly host delivering this message to the world).   We sometimes think of peace and goodwill as synonyms. They are not. In fact, they represent very different human conditions – either one by itself being incomplete. But together they weave a social fabric of heavenly dimensions. There are many examples of one without the other, but relatively few of both existing and being sustained for any great length of time.  In its simplest form, peace could be defined as the absence of conflict. When this kind of peace is voluntary, due to an underlying feeling of goodwill toward all, it is a wonderfully satisfying human condition.  However, a “peaceful” absence of conflict can also be achieved through coercion, even in the notable absence of goodwill. In that case, it comes at the obvious, and dear price of freedom and liberty and represents a most cruel form of the human condition. Coerced peace is usually a political construct as it requires overwhelming use of force to constrain human behaviors. There have been modern examples of peace without goodwill in the recent past. One can reflect on Yugoslavia, Libya, Iraq, and other nations. For example, Yugoslavia was created after World War II as a federation of six different ethnic regions. A strong central governing party ensured that conflicts were resolved emphatically and quickly. There was “peace,” but without the underlying goodwill among the different ethnic groups. Under Josip Broz Tito the country experienced an extended period of prosperity characterized by enforced peaceful interaction among the various ethnic groups. In many ways, it was considered a model of economic success.  But after Tito died in 1980, the ability to continue the peaceful climate through coercive means declined, and the unresolved conflicts among the different ethnic groups emerged with frightening consequences in human suffering for the whole country and region. In a relatively few years, the region completely lost both its peace and prosperity.  Similar events have unfolded in other countries where peace was enforced despite the absence of “goodwill toward men.” As the power to enforce coercive peace diminishes, people are subsequently often subjected to tragic suffering that can take decades and even generations to overcome to a point of regaining a semblance of stability. In short, peace without goodwill has a terrible historical record for producing great human suffering in the end.  Unlike “peaceful” conflict suppression, goodwill to men cannot be coerced. It is almost by definition an innate feeling of each individual human heart. It can be contagious, and it often seems to be either in large supply or in short supply in a particular family, community, or nation. It would seem that goodwill to other human beings is something that would be a universal good. However, once again we find that

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