I’ll admit it—I watched Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. What drew me in was a concern: I anticipated an indictment of the faith I love. Hulu seems to have a growing obsession with portraying religious communities in an inaccurate and negative light. While the cheap drone shots of temples every few minutes signaled that familiar intent, what struck me wasn’t an indictment of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints—it was a testament to what feels more like Hulu’s tabloid exploitation of young women.
These women, most of whom are in their twenties and navigating the complexities of marriage, motherhood, faith, and unrealistic societal expectations, are the ones on display. They are caught in a world where they’re expected to do it all—be perfect wives, mothers, and individuals in a society that celebrates instant gratification and social validation. I couldn’t help but be reminded of the tired old trope from the 1980s: “Bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let you forget you’re a man.” But that expectation has evolved into something even more exhausting, where perfection is expected in every post. This portrayal doesn’t reflect the broader membership.
Hulu has used these women to create another notch in their collection of anything but “secret” dramas. But what did we expect?
Modern Mormonism: An Indictment of “Progressive” Faith?
Hulu claims to showcase members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but it fails to accurately represent the way the vast majority of members live their faith. Secret Lives of Mormon Wives focuses on a subset of Mormonism, with the cast identifying themselves as “progressive” or “modern Mormons.” They are part of our family of faith, but this portrayal doesn’t reflect the broader membership.
Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints strive to live their faith with deep conviction, fully committing to principles that guide every aspect of life. The gospel of Jesus Christ calls for complete devotion—it is not a casual religion. The Lord invites us to fully embrace His teachings and experience the blessings that come as a result— “Prove me now herewith,” He invites. In contrast, Secret Lives of Mormon Wives presents a version of faith that seems more concerned with image, social validation, and conforming to modern cultural trends.
Could it be that what we’re seeing isn’t a flaw in the faith itself but a reflection of the challenges that arise when faith is practiced more superficially or without grounding in its deeper doctrines? Could the instability we see in the show stem more from practicing faith as a mere tradition or an afterthought rather than the faith itself? These are questions worth considering. The series also raises issues about the culture of Instagram, TikTok, selfies, and performative spirituality.
The tragedy lies in the cycle of exhibitionism and external validation, where individuals become trapped in social media’s endless demand for more attention, more likes, and more drama. Hulu has perpetuated this cycle, exploiting these young women and reinforcing a shallow version of faith that leaves both them—and those watching—feeling empty.
Challenging Gender Roles? Or Missing the Wisdom of Layered Care?
One of the dominant narratives in this series is the idea of challenging the so-called patriarchy and traditional gender roles. The cast members often express frustration with what they perceive as outdated expectations placed on them by their faith. But who is truly applying the pressure and shaping the narrative?
It’s worth asking: Could there be wisdom in traditional structures that the show is overlooking, especially when it comes to providing stability and the best outcomes for children? Family is not a one-size-fits-all proposition, and the beauty of traditional family systems is in their adaptability through different seasons of life.
There are layers of care and support that evolve as individuals and families grow. A mother with young children may focus on nurturing and providing emotional stability during those early, formative years. But that role shifts and expands as her children grow older, as her family’s needs change, and as she herself evolves. There’s wisdom in this design—each season of life provides an opportunity for both men and women to contribute in complementary and meaningful ways that go beyond the rigid definitions often caricatured in the media.
Social science backs up what religious teachings have long said: children thrive best in environments where they are surrounded by love, stability, and consistent care from both parents. Many women, in turn, find deep fulfillment not only in nurturing relationships within the family but also in using their unique talents and skills in ways that benefit both the family and society.
Traditional family structures, when viewed through this lens, are far from being rigid or oppressive. Instead, they provide layered care and a framework for flourishing support where men and women can contribute to the needs of the family. In contrast, this series presented a chaotic alternative. When families break down, so does the fabric of civilization itself.
The closest thing to a coherent theme in Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is the idea of “challenging the patriarchy.” This aligns neatly with the current cultural moment, where traditional family roles and structures are often seen as oppressive rather than protective. The show attempts to highlight the supposed failings of these women’s religious and family lives, but what it unintentionally proves is the importance of family structure and faith for mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. We know, through both religious teachings and social science, that stable families are the foundation of thriving individuals and societies. When families break down, so does the fabric of civilization itself. Hulu, in its bid to stand out, has missed an opportunity.
A Missed Opportunity
In the end, what if Secret Lives of Mormon Wives had taken a different path? Could it have been something truly revolutionary by exploring the richness of faith and family in a more thoughtful way? If producers really want to be unique, they could try exploring the depth of commitment that brings real joy and the value of family structures that help humans thrive. Instead, Hulu chose the easy path—the tabloid drama, the sensationalist spectacle, the shallow, performative spirituality that dominates social media today. Nothing new to see here.
The show is more an indictment of the self-proclaimed “progressive” version of faith it seeks to promote. It showcases a “common wrecker” version that lacks substance, depth, and the transformative power of “a builder that works with care.” The Lord has promised, for those who are “all in“—those who are willing to “prove me now herewith”—peace, stability, and joy. The show proves that treating faith as a cultural accessory results in chaos, discontentment, and fractured relationships.
Hey Hulu, want to stand out, to be unique? Here’s a thought: promote what really works. Show what happens when humanity commits to ideals that bring out the best in each other, principles that are designed to last, not trends that fade with the next viral post.