Conference Without the Checklist

It’s almost time for General Conference.

As an eight-hour weekend event, General Conference can feel both joyful and overwhelming. On the one hand, our hearts can feel full of joy as the Spirit touches our hearts during hours of messages. But with so many messages and invitations, it may also feel like we’re being told an infinite number of things to do and become, sometimes leaving us discouraged.

I don’t believe that this is what Heavenly Father wants us to feel. Although we should take the counsel given seriously and honestly identify how we can improve, I believe that General Conference is meant to give us instruction to help us become who God knows we can become, not to shame us for our shortcomings.

In seeking to keep General Conference a joyful experience rather than an overwhelming one, I try to focus on what the prophet teaches and make it my top priority to follow his counsel. Beyond that, I have found some other principles that have helped me approach General Conference in a healthier, happier way.

1. Remember that spiritual progress in one area reinforces progress in others.

When I was younger, I used to listen to General Conference and make myself a very long list of things to change. I’d plaster my room with note cards of inspirational quotes and hope that I’d be able to become all of these things. 

Sometimes I made good progress on a few things. But many of my goals went unmet because I couldn’t focus on so many goals at once. I finally admitted that my approach wasn’t working. 

My approach now is to focus on any invitations the prophet gave, and then on one or two other insights that stood out to me. While the old me would have worried I wasn’t doing enough, the new me has come to realize that concentrated effort on just one or a few things often yields all-around better results than effort split between 20.

The late apostle Robert D. Hales taught that developing one Christlike attribute actually helps us develop others. “The attributes of the Savior … are interwoven characteristics, added one to another, which develop in us in interactive ways,” he said. “In other words, we cannot obtain one Christlike characteristic without also obtaining and influencing others. As one characteristic becomes strong, so do many more.”

For instance, in my efforts to follow President Nelson and President Oaks’ call for us to develop the gift of charity and become peacemakers, I have noticed that I have been growing in the spiritual gift of patience (which I desperately needed!). And as I feel Christ’s love for others, my faith in Christ grows, leading me to want to better follow Him. 

Scripture frequently teaches about how spiritual gifts, the doctrine of Christ, and Christlike attributes are all interrelated. “Faith unto repentance.” “If a man have faith he must needs have hope.” These phrases show that focusing on one area will inadvertently lead to improvement in another.

2. Pace your progress.

Imagine listening to 1 Nephi through early Alma in a weekend, then trying to implement everything you learned from the stories, teachings, and invitations.

That is roughly the same amount of time that we spend listening to four sessions of General Conference. Sure, we have music and prayers mixed in to break up the talks. But it is still a lot of information!

We don’t have to change everything at once. Although we tend to think of General Conference as a one-weekend event, it can be helpful to view it as the start of a six-month study period. The talks are delivered all at once initially, but we can then give each talk its own study and focus in the coming months.

The Lord does not expect us to “run faster than we are able.” He does ask us to identify what is “needful.”

If we focus on studying 1-2 talks per week, we can realistically work through all of them before the next conference. That is a slow enough pace to make progress on understanding each talk and applying at least some of its principles. 

The new Sunday schedule provides increased opportunity to study each of these talks and learn from our ward members about their insights. We can also study talks in the order we feel we need them in our lives at a particular time. The progress is expected to be gradual, not all at once after Conference Weekend.

3. Find hope in the stories.

Sometimes the stories in General Conference may feel like they would never happen to us. We often hear stories that have reached a resolution, while our own might not have yet. Or we may hear of someone handling a challenge better than we think we would. While the stories are true, the limited time in which they are told may not account for all the patient waiting, complexity, and emotional difficulty that were part of them.

It’s a bit how I feel about cooking. When other people cook for me, I am focused on the final outcome, usually impressed that someone else could do it so well. But when I cook, I’m focused on the mistakes I made, the adjustments I could have made to make it perfect, and the way I messed up my whole kitchen to get it done. Yet when I serve food to other people, they focus on the end product. And so the pattern repeats. 

Sometimes, when we hear the stories in General Conference, we imagine they are only happening to people who meet an impossible standard of righteousness we will never attain. But this is not true. Over time, I have come to know a few of the people in General Conference stories. This has given me a more realistic view; the people in them are sincere and good Latter-day Saints, but they are not perfect, either. They are usually just ordinary people trying to follow Christ. This reminds me that the Lord can work miraculous things in my life, despite my shortcomings.

I am grateful that General Conference contains inspiring stories. If it didn’t, how encouraging would that be? But rather than comparing our stories to others’, we can take strength and inspiration in seeing that God works for the good of His children. I sometimes find myself in circumstances where these stories inspire me to handle a challenge a little more like Christ, even when it feels much easier to let the natural (wo)man rule.  

4. Be open to messages affecting you later.

Sometimes, because of where we are in life when we watch General Conference, certain messages might not immediately touch us. Some might even upset us. I have had to learn that my emotional reaction to a talk doesn’t determine its truth or its relevance. 

We may hear the true principle that God answers prayers but feel frustrated because we are still waiting. We may hear the principle that God’s plan is a plan of happiness but feel angry that we are experiencing grief. We may hear messages about eternal families but feel disappointed that this goal feels out of reach.

Receiving the messages from General Conference in our hearts takes humility. In his first worldwide address as prophet, President Dallin H. Oaks taught, “[Humility] will help us overcome questions about the Lord’s doctrine. When we are humble, we can more clearly hear the Lord’s voice.” I often need to pray for a softened heart before the Lord will let a spiritual truth sink into my spiritual understanding. 

We should also remember that although General Conference talks are intended to help us as individuals, they are also directed to the entire Church. With so many different circumstances that Church members face across the world, some talks may feel more or less naturally relevant to us. In addition, General Conference talks in more recent years have often focused more on broadly applicable principles of following Jesus Christ than providing highly specific direction. This is probably also due to the Church’s internationalization and to the effort to find higher and holier ways of teaching. Instruction is often more principle-based and less application-based, similar to the approach to the new For the Strength of Youth manual. Sometimes I feel disappointed that the talks are not more directed to my personal challenges. Yet I have come to realize that, often, they are: I just need to do the spiritual work of understanding the principles well enough to apply them to my particular circumstances. 

Approaching General Conference with Joy

I am looking forward to General Conference with great anticipation. I hope that, by applying these strategies, we can avoid General Conference overwhelm and instead feel the simple joy that following the Gospel of Jesus Christ provides.